Sunday, June 08, 2008
i think this mind is killing me. bleh. paranoid since i was born. to the extent of predicting the future. like, if an incident happens to a close friend or family member, i'll predict what would happen next, and the next incident after that, and somehow come up with a conclusion that is often true. my brain is weird. i have space for so much thinking and memorizing minor stuff, but not enough for studies and cca. minor stuff as in like, remembering how people stand, walk, talk, eat, type, read, drink, run and many other stuff. every single detail all stuck in my mind. even how samtan carries a bag and takes out his nokia phone and putting in back in his pocket, and him bouncing around on the spot. yea. i remember every single detail. like how joyan talks or tags. yepp. sooo predictable. maybe im not the only one who can do this. but i think it's weird. unwanted misuse of brain JIIIUCE. bleh.. i guess it's a gift as well. to predict what would happen and try to reverse it or change it.
i was thinking. i heard some pastor saying that God has already chosen certain people to go to heaven. so i was thinking in my head,' if God wants me to be in heaven, i'd definitely end up in heaven even if i like dont go to church or anything, cuz if he really wants me there, somehow i'd end up in church again. and if he doesnt want me there then i wouldnt really care anymore.' it's weird isnt it.. but i'd do anything for Him.. cuz He loves me and me, Him.
i just want to thank God again, for giving me favor in the eyes of man.. like, im soo vulgar and mean, but still, many people care for me and love me. bleh. and im like taking all of it forgranted. im soo useless. bleah. im going crazy. i shall stop this post.
goodbye.
i made it known at 6:42 PM
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