music-n-food

2010-05-06T18:51:00.002+08:00

Leeland's a nice band.

MYEs now. Physic's my final paper and that's tomorrow. PtL. Really don't like exams or tests):

Heaven's fighting for me.

Awesome lyrics huh. I quite like it. I feel like listening to non-christian music. ughhh. That ain't a good thing. Well, I've gone quite a few months without them already. Hmm. It's a change. A good one I guess. Hope I don't start again. Haha.

Well, I downloaded 63 episodes of Bleach. The first 63. Mmm, the Soul Society arc if ya'din'know. Ya'll non-anime people don't have to register this few sentences into your craniums(:

I can't wait for the holidays. I mean, yeah school feels like a holiday resort but I want the real holiday resorts to come faster. Church camp, guitar camp and maybe even TIMOR LESTE. Really can't wait for it to come. Haha. Bet you guys can't wait too.

Can't seem to find the song that I was thinking about. Eh. I only had a fragment of it in my head. Oh never mind.

Oh the sound of melodies, rising up to You

I'M HUNGRY. I shall go eat. BYE

2010-04-28T17:06:00.001+08:00

Storm before the calm.

Something bad's gonna happen.

Something.

2010-04-22T18:03:00.002+08:00

When we were only kids

HELLO. I have not posted since a month and 18 days ago. So I shall do one now.

More. That's what's coming. Man. I'm tired with the load I already have. More? That's tough. But ptL. Serving is hmm... how should I put it. AH. A blessing. It's a blessing to serve(:

Gonna start bible study in my school for my schoolmates. MMM. Hope I won't feel nervous. Worship leading on Sunday was one of my MOST NERVOUS experiences in my life. But people said it was GOOD so I'm not gonna doubt them(: ptL for leading me through.

AHHHHHHHHHH. SS EXAM'S NEXT MONDAY! Mr Sim said D&D was an important topic. Guess I'm only gonna revise that and risk failing at least SEQ. But I don't have very good SBQ schools so I guess I'm kind of dead. I SHALL REVISE THEM LATER!

I ran in the rain today. Missed the feeling of it. Was drenched. Last time I did that was when I was primary 6 right before our 1.6km run. We were running to macdonalds just to get an ice cream. Haha. When we were only kids.

I'M HUNGRY. Food's downstairs but I'm lazy to go. BLEH. Alright. I shall stop being lazy. Will try and post soon(: God bless!

OH. Those of you reading this post who are christians, remember to PRAY PRAY PRAY PRAY PRAY!

And don't forget to pray again!

And one more thing,

PRAY!(:

NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE!

2010-03-03T21:50:00.003+08:00

And here we are at the bottom of the valley. Haha. Funny how everything used to look so beautiful at the top of that mountain we were once on. Oh wells.

Everything happens for a reason dunit?

Meeting ABI! on Saturday was nice. Haha. Cell on Sunday was interesting. The workshop on Saturday too! Phebe's a great teacher(:

Hmm. I realize I have quite a low score. As in, the EQ test I took. Well, it's not original so I don't know. But I'm just below average. Most Singaporeans are though. Haha. Ah what the nut. I have GOD! And my GOD REIGNS!

Everytime I listen to a christian song now, I feel, a want to just worship. Like, sing out loud even if I'm in a crowded place with my earpieces in my ears. How cool is that. BUT, my GOD is the COOLEST!

I WISH I COULD FLY!

That was just a random thought(:

ACTUALLY, it'd be quite cool if I could. MAN. Haha. It's okay. MY GOD IS STILL THE BEST!

MOM'S birthday is this SATURDAY! I got a card for her. Haven't written anything yet though. Plan to pass her the perfume I made last Tuesday at SP. Yay. Nice right? MY GOD IS THE NICEST!

Alright. Gotta call it a night. Long long day): tomorrow TOO. BLEH. Oh wells. Goodnight ya'll(:

2010-02-01T20:54:00.003+08:00

A song by Tenth Avenue North, in Jesus' perspective:

Times
My love is over, it's underneath
It's inside, it's in between
The times that you doubt Me, when you can't feel
The times that you've questioned, 'Is this for real?'
The times that you've broken, the times that you mend
The times that you hate Me, the times that you bend
Well My love is over, it's underneath
It's inside, it's in between
These times you're healing, and when your heart breaks
The times that you feel that you've fallen from grace
The times that you're hurting, and the times that you heal
The times you go hungry and are tempted to steal
In times of confusion and sorrow and pain
I'm there in your sorrow under the weight of your shame
I'm there in your heartache, I'm there in the storm
My love I will keep you, by My power alone
I don't care where you've fallen, where you have been
I'll never forsake you, My love never ends
It never ends

2010-01-28T21:33:00.002+08:00

I just don't get it.

2010-01-24T19:26:00.001+08:00

OKAY. AN UPDATE.

Eh eh eh eh eh. Don't know what to update on. HAHA. Moving for the sake of motion(:

Mmm. ATL ATL ATL ATL.

WTD WTD WTD WTD.

IDK IDK IDK IDK.

WOP WOP WOP WOP.

But for how long?

2009-12-27T18:59:00.001+08:00

Eyes, emotions, thoughts, hate, love.

2009-12-19T18:42:00.005+08:00

'You asked for a revival. Here it is.'

We know how angry Satan is.

We know how much we can give in.

But the guy with the horns is shouting.

And I'm gonna shout back.

Youth camp just ended today. Mmm. Tough. It's been stressful for me. Yeah. I cried. Good thing only one person saw it(:
But this youth camp has shown me, that even the more respected leaders can fall in an instant. It has shown me how fragile us humans can be. It has shown me that feelings do cloud judgement. Don't surrender to your flesh, feelings, faces and facts. Toughie.
Again I see how imperfect we are. Again I've witnessed how important words are. Again I see people giving in and giving up. But again I see God's mercy and grace. Something we don't ever deserve.
Thing is, the Master, has given us mercy and grace. It's just so hard to learn to do so.

I wanna die to myself everyday like how Paul did.
I wanna put my pride away.
I wanna put my desires away and place God's desires for my life first.
I wanna be all that I can for Him.

But I'm just so stressed now I can't think of anything. Prayer. That would help.

I'm sick of negative emotions. I'm sick of miscommunication issues. I'm sick of anger.

I want a revival.
I want restoration.
I want peace in my heart.

Touche. Prayer works.

2009-09-21T13:55:00.002+08:00

Listening to Angels and Airwaves. Haven't heard their music for about 3 years already. Nice music (:

I realize, not recently, that people really like to put fronts. Sad. And, it ain't an assumption. Ask me, I'll prove(:

I'm hungry now. And woah, listening to AvA's good. Feels like my secondary 1 year. Ah, good feeling, good music.

Cobus is a christian. Wow. Tony Royster isn't. Sadly.

OH I GOT A NEW PHONE! It's a SAMSUNG S8003. Beautiful phone(: And dad got it for me, how nice. Haha. Thanks dad, if you do visit my blog.

Legion, My Sister's Keeper, Paper Heart, I Love You Beth Cooper. Woah. So many upcoming movies. Can't wait. Haha.

Valkyrie Missile - Angels and Airwaves

Oh, their making a movie that's coming out on the same day as their third album, 'Love', and it shares the album title. Interesting. Started as a documentary, then turned into a movie. Haha. I'm gonna watch it.

2009-09-20T22:06:00.002+08:00

AHH. Long time since I've posted, and yeah, I'm still tired and bored.

So life hasn't been very worrysome for quite a long time, till quite recently. Yep. Sad. But I'll get over crap. Hah.

I wanted to blog about something, just can't really recall what I wanted to.

I'm starting to have an interest for politics and philosophy, which is bad IN MY OPINION. Because I ain't Andrew and Thaddeus who can keep agnostic views on them. I'll just dive straight in and never come out. Like psychology, well, the surface of it (: Still, it's lots of crap to know.

Studies and school, real slack. Yeah. Really really slack. It's so slack I can't really find any other words to describe school life FOR NOW. Ah. My eyes are tired.

An update on my life: I LOVE FRISBEE! Yeah. Somehow, it's the most attention grabbing sport to me and I just can't seem to shake the interest off of my poor cranium.

OH. Ben and I are supposed to lead half of the secondary 1 cell, tough, and I think familiarity will breed MUCH contempt. So, if you see this, give me some tips and pray for me huh. (:

Man, I really forgot what I wanted to post about. Damn. Memory's failing. I'm ageing, JUST KIDDING.

Well, I'll go put my nutshell on a pile of feathers now. Goodnight people!

2009-08-23T00:41:00.002+08:00

What the hell is your problem? If she wants to talk on the phone it's her business, not yours. So just mind your freaking own business.

Who the HELL do you think you are

2009-08-18T19:46:00.000+08:00

Ah. I need a break.

Life's been a bore. Gosh there's nothing to do. Except for study, which I suck sooo bad at. Ah. I miss my friends):

So, guess what. I just started mousehunting. Ah. I disgust myself, but actually, it's not as bad as I thought.

Hmm. Alright. I got to go. I'm banned from the computer remember. Goodnight, and pray for my prelims if you see this, thank you! (:

2009-07-14T16:57:00.003+08:00

Alright. It has been ages since I've last posted, because I've banned myself from the computer in order to start studying for my exams, but it ain't helping so, I decided to use the computer just to blog today.

Life. Hmm. Has been pretty tough. I always wonder why people have to take things so seriously and assume that everything is against them. Locking themselves in their own world just because of a heartbreak. Cutting themselves because no one loves them. There's sooo much self-remorse. Man.

Love. What everyone thinks they know best. I for one believe that it is subjective, and not objective. Firstly, there is no fixed definition of what it means to love someone. Some of you might say 'No! There is a definition!', well my friends, that is YOUR definition. Secondly, what love is to you is not to someone else. We're all different, we aren't wired to think the same way.

Pride. Let's face it. Everyone has it, and everyone thinks they don't have it. I admit, I do. And it's such a shitty thing to have. Like what a friend told me,' It is only a liability to me'. I agree, to a full extent. So, I shall say right here, on this blog, that if I've ever pissed you off or anything, I'm sorry and please forgive me. But man. It is the most stinking 'gift' one could/can have. WHAT GOOD DOES IT BRING YOU. Man.

And again, please, NO ONE KNOWS EVERYTHING. If you think you know something better than another person, please, shut up and keep it to yourself. Give people a chance to learn huh. And I'm not talking about math or science questions, I'm talking about life. No one knows how to be a real success in life (of course, that is MY opinion. MINE.), and no one knows how to be the best in life.

I've realized that keeping your thoughts to yourself really does help. Doesn't show other people how stupid you are, doesn't show other people how hateful you are, doesn't show people anything about who you are. And I like that. To be unpredictable and not judged for your actions.

Everything has a reason. My reason for doing so, is because people judge, people gossip, people hate, lie, backstab, murder and betray. I bet most of you guys know that it IS very hard to find people you can trust in. I for one believe, that I, know that very well. Observing, introspecting, listening. That's what I've been doing. And yeah, anyone, can be a bitch. Any relationship, can turn sour. Any heart, can be broken. And anyone, can be a backstabber.

Best thing anyone can do, is just to be a friend first and hope for nothing in return. Then, you'll know who's the bitch and who's not.

Man. Stinking world.

And I don't even know who I am (:

2009-06-16T15:11:00.002+08:00

I finally, FINALLY, found inspiration to blog. Bet you guys are like, 'Woah!! The coolest guy in the world just posted!!'. HAHAHA.

I'm sick. Damn right. The coolest guy in the world, sick. Bet you guys are worried(:
Well, it sucks. I can't really balance myself? Like, yeah, I can't walk properly. Dad says it's because I play too much Fallout 3. MAYBE, because I took 17hours to torrent the freaking game. That's why I played soo much. From 10am to 6pm. PRO RIGHT. 8 hours. I have wonderful math skills. (:

I'm quite tired. Right now. Haha. I'm bored. Hmm.

Man, I feel like playing Fallout 3, but I'm not allowed to. Dad says the game's graphics are too realistic for me, and because I focus a lot on the game. Straining, according to him. Some koclea(if that's how it's spelled) thing, ear water stuff. Almost fainted last night. SUCKS right. Pray for me if your reading this post (:

They went to SENTOSA without me. So sad right. But I'll be joining them for dinner. But I'm still quite tired, so I might give it a pass.

Body language is an interesting topic. Might start on it soon. Books or via internet. It seems quite interesting, then I can add it to my research. Yeah, I'm still doing personalities and stuff. Profiling? Mmm. Like, notice certain things about a person, like, what the person wears, how she/he reacts to certain things, what a person usually says, talks about. Then based on what I know, make a profile of the person, and then try to 'predict' his actions/movements. It's a bad thing to do because sometimes, you think you know the person and all and then you'll start to doubt people, which is, not healthy for any normal relationship. But it's interesting luh. Something like making personality types/profiles for people, personalities that only I understand.

It's something like making assumptions, which is bad? But of course I try to keep an open mind to it. Theories are assumptions that are proven right, so I'll keep it to myself untill it's proven. And if anyone has a problem with what I'm doing, please, tell me straight in the face, and not on your blogs or behind my back. Either tell me, or keep it in your own cranium. Because, people usually don't keep an open mind and tend to judge quickly(?). I know I sound like I'm judging, but that's personal experience/observation after a few years/months of studying people. Yep. Thank you (:

Okay, I shall take a break now. Still veh tired. Mann.

2009-06-09T15:40:00.005+08:00

Damn, I'm haunted by the word 'Why'.

Hello all. Week 1 of school holidays has just ended. Damn. Time's flying fast. And I'm just too lazy to chase it I guess.

Nothing much has happened so far. Boring life, tiring life. Although I have had some fun (:

Getting kind of sick of gaming. It's just the same thing over and over again. CS, MapleStory (I know, I know) and DotA, DotA, DotA. Man, don't you guys ever get sick of 'em repetitive games. Tsk tsk. I only play L4D because I haven't finished all the expert stages, and that's the only reason why. I'm waiting/looking forward to getting Fallout 3 from Thaddeus Teo though. Tried it, and I love it. Another good way to spend those 5 days when someone's going overseas.

Hmm. I have a boring week ahead. No events, no outings. At least there's Prayer meet on Friday. I'll be staying in church for 12 hours on Saturday. Damn. Practice for youth, practice for Saturday service, service, then leader's meet. Saturday cannot get more packed than that.

And OH OH OH! I wanna go shop for clothes. Someone follow me!! I know Ivan's willing (: Haha. I need new clothes. 'What a sudden change. I thought you never cared about clothes'. HAHA! Your wrong looooooozars. But I just need new clothes. So go there, buy, go home. Boring right.

I feel like going for a swim. OH. YAY. There's something on tomorrow! Megan's 'BIRTHDAY' celebration. Man. I'm hoping it'd be fun. Haha. I think it will be?

Fireproof's gonna be screened in church. Can't wait for that. It looks very very very interesting (:

OH. ANYONE WANNA WATCH TRANSFORMERS 2 WITH ME?! I can't wait for it ta come out. Mannnnn. Hahaha.

AND FOR JAEL MEMBERS!

There will be a SENTOSA!!!! outing on the last Friday of our school holidays (26/06/09)! WHICH MEANS, there's still a lot of time for you to contemplate on whether you wanna go or rot at home alone, and more time for you to reschedule so you can make it! 11am at VIVOCITY! Those who will be late, please meet latest by 12.30pm, and please inform me if your going to be late. The rest shall make it by themselves!! We will be there till hmm.... 7pm!! Then we're gonna have our dinner at VIVOCITY! Please, feel free to bring any food or refreshments to the damn beach because we all know that consumables are freaking expensive there. AND AND AND!!! If anyone has a nice volleyball and a very very very nice frisbee (the plastic ones, not the styrofoam ones that they sell in SENTOSA!!! because they suck), please inform me!! Because, we're gonna be damn frigging bored if we don't have ém throwables! OH! There's a basketball court there too so feel free to bring a basket ball if you want to. Any other information, please call my handphone number at 90078272, or msn me at kidswontstaykidsforever@hotmail.com. THANK YOU! (:

That should be all. (: Goodiebye people!

2009-06-05T02:03:00.002+08:00

On that day when I see
All that You have for me
When I see You face to face
There surrounded by Your grace

All my fears swept away
In the light of your embrace
When Your love is all I need
And forever I am free

Where the streets are made of gold
In Your presence here to hold
Let these songs of heaven rise to you alone

No weeping, no hurt or pain
No suff'ring, You hold me now
You hold me now
No darkness, no sickening
No hiding, You hold me now
You hold me now

In this life fin'lly stand
Through my joy and my pain
Knowing there's a greater day
There's a hope that never fails

When You're name is lifted high
And forever praises last
For the glory of Your Name
I'll be livin' for the day

When the world has finally cease
All creation rest in peace
Let these songs of heaven rise to you alone

For eternity
All my heart will give
All the glory to Your name

2009-06-02T20:32:00.003+08:00

I can't help but think why people have to insult and gossip about others. Bitching. It's always around. Yuck. It's disgusting me. THEY who bitch disgust me. There's always this hate, there's always this jealousy. Greed. Yuck. It's just oh soo irritating. It's always like 'Man she's a bitch' or like 'Eh, don't talk to her/him/shim, she's a bitch'. Arguements here and there, unnecessary remarks flying all over the place. WE DON'T NEED IT. STOP INSULTING EACH OTHER, STOP CURSING PEOPLE'S PARENTS/RELIGION/RACE. JUST STOP IT.

You, disgust me.

2009-04-30T18:58:00.004+08:00

GOLD. WE GOT A GOLD. WE MADE HISTORY! WEE!

YEAH. I know it's kind of late, this thank you post but still!

I wanna thank, CALVIN, LUDFIL, ABIJOY, RENTING, YANA, RAPHAEL, IAN, AARON, JOREL, DOMENICO, DESIREE, JEREMIAH, JINGYI, JOLIE, JOSEPH, TIN YUE, JARROLD, CHARLOTTE, KELLY, CLEMENT and the other TWO JUNIORS (sorry I forgot your names =X)!

Haha. It was a real blessing to have us all go for SYF together, and I really had lots of fun with you guys. Yeah. I always thought that school stinked, but after knowing you guys, woah, school just suddenly became such a wonderful place to be in. You guys are like my family man. Cool, cool, cool. The coolest people I've ever met. Haha. Thanks for everything!

Thank you guitarbaby_chua (MR CHUA)! Haha. I know we've done you proud (: Thanks for always being there for us, even when we were always crapping around or wasting time. It was an honor to be your student/disciple. HAHA. Thank you for everything you've done for us, teaching us how to play our parts, letting us laugh at you when you make your ENGRISH sound like something else and not getting angry for that. You've been with us since day 1, SINCE MY DAY 1, so thank YOU MR GUITARBABY_CHUA!

AND AND AND, THANK YOU TO MR E AND MS FU! You guys are the greatest CCA teachers ebar! Even when we were having fun or messing around during CCA, you guys didn't complain, and ya'll've always let us do what we want. It's really a blessing for us guys to have ya'll. Haha! And THANKS FOR THE PIZZA! AND THE MACDOWNAALD BWEAKFARST!

Their my FAMILY! And I love them!

Haha. Well I guess you guys can tell that I've been very happy recently. Yayness.

Hmm. EXAMS NEXT WEEK. AND IM NOT PREPARED. WEEE. Muahaha. Fail then fail luh. (:

OH. I haven't dota-ed or had a proper match of Dota in weeks! Man. I miss the game. Haha. Maybe I should go play some rounds later. Hmm. Maybe after dinner.

AND OH OH OH! IT'S A HOLIDAY TOMORROW! WEEEEEEEEEEEE. AH-HAPPEE ME. Hahaha. Sleeping in, going out. YAYNESS MANZXZXZX.

Hmm. Okay okay. I shall go hab me dinnarzxz nowzxzx. C U ALLXZXX DUDESZXZX AND DUDETTEZXZX. BYE!

2009-04-24T22:00:00.003+08:00

I don't know how to describe how I feel.

A mix of emotions.

Too many emotions I guess.

I've been very tired recently. Wonder why.

Guitar has been fun these few weeks. And I used to pon it everyweek. Ah. I feel bad. Haha.

SYF's on monday. SS exam after that. I'm not worried, but I'm stressed. Hmm.

I wonder why.

Social psychology! I must get that PhD. Just have to pass that freaking chinese O level paper. THEN EVERYTHING'S GONNA BE ALRIGHT! YEAH!

Tired. Shall stop here. BYEBYE.

2009-04-16T20:51:00.002+08:00

When you try your best but you don't succeed
When you get what you want but not what you need
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse

And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

And high up above or down below
When you're too in love to let it go
But if you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth

Tears stream, down your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears stream down your face
And I...

Tears stream, down on your face
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes
Tears stream down your face
And I...

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you.

2009-04-13T22:31:00.005+08:00

whydowesin.whydowehate.whydowelie.
whydoweputonshowsforeveryonetosee.
whydowethink.whydoweworry.whydowecry.
whydowedie.whydoweact.
whydowethinkthatwe'resmart.
why.why.why.

2009-04-12T19:05:00.004+08:00

The beauty of imperfection. Yeah. We're back here again.

What is perfection then?

The answer, something the human mind can never comprehend.

Imperfect, we are. But still, beautiful, the greatest creation.

The smartest, fastest, strongest. Even so, we're still imperfect. But we are beautiful.

What then, is perfection? Can it be seen? Can it be heard? Can it be described? Can it be imagined?

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

I can't wait to see what perfection is. If the imperfect creations of man can bind this world from what perfection is(because we do not know what perfection is), what can perfection do to us? How much more will/would we be attracted to such splendor?

Perfection Imperfection

A clear line of division all of understand, but have not seen.

The beauty of imperfection.

Tsk.

2009-04-04T21:11:00.002+08:00

Humbug.

Shows, lies, gossip, hatred.
Pride, jealousy, greed.

Beliefs, dreams, religion, relationships.
The subjective, the objective, the heart, the mind.

Actions, words, promises, betrayal.
Love, friendship, likes and dislikes.

The ups, downs, turn-arounds.
The unexpected, the obvious.

The mourning, the dancing.
Crying, screaming, wailing.

Death, poison, bitterness, selfishness.
Friends, foes, allies, enemies.

The broken hearted.
The tired.
The lost.

The weak.
The confused.
The hated.

The condemned.
The living.
The dead.

As if we could live faster than time.

Stop your dreaming, start your living.
Stop your wishful thinking, start working.
Stop asking, start doing.

Quick, slow, supersonic, immobile.
The sky, the sea, the land.

Heaven, hell, earth and it's people.
Heartless, cruel, mad, caring.

Supervisors, inspectors, providers, protectors.
Promoters, performers, crafters, composers.

Fieldmarshals, masterminds, inventors, architects.
Teachers, counselors, champions, healers.

Princes, princessess, paupers, animals.
Kings, queens, ministers, emperors.

Exams, timetables, tests, festivals.
Papers, pens, pencils, erasers.

The bored, the lonely.
The depressed, the quiet, the loud.

The pessimists, the optimists.
Adaptability, steadiness.

Why do we hope for the future and the past, but not for the present.

Why.

2009-03-31T20:26:00.004+08:00

Hello all!

Sorry for the sudden lack of updates, just couldn' get myself to blog. Hehe. Lazy me (:

Anyways, life's been boring, as mentioned in almost every single post. Tsk. Nothing interesting. Ah. School's been boring, tuition's been boring, CCA's been boring. Tsk. Good thing church ain't boring, or I'd die.

Ah. I just think that John Mayer's sooooooooooooo coooooooooool. And I have all 83 songs, cds/dvds. Yeah babeh. And the Abbey Road jamming session. ALL IN MY IPOD. Muahaha. He's just sooo sooo coooool. Haha. Watch!

Haha. An improvised solo, followed by the song 'City Love'. Ah. It's a brilliant song, so is it's sequel, 'Covered in Rain'. Haha.

"In a concert performed in December 2005, Mayer explained the significance and meaning of the song:

“This is the most important song I’ve ever written, it's a time capsule song.
I will listen to it every day of my life if I need to.
It's honest to God the most important song I’ve ever written in my life, and it has the fewest words. I was in LA, and I was there for the summer, just writing tunes, and I was in the shower.
And I don't know where it came from, but it's the damn truth you know, and I just sang, "gravity...is working against me."

And I just want to say that my full-time job, being—this is true—being a musician is almost a side job to my full-time job of not screwing up. Because the world was devised to be pretty damn even, except for terminal illness, and things that people just absolutely...
They're just flukes and they're... You know, I don't know if they're making up for something else way far away that they don't deserve, but it all pretty much evens out.

And if you're gonna do this thing and get paid, and you know, get a car over the phone, if you're gonna do this stuff, something else is gonna happen that is gonna be a temptation to pull you off of it because the people that don't have that going on, they're hoping for that, cause that makes the world even. That makes them even, it makes you even, and where I am now in my life, I’m on a track where as soon as you get in a room, the room is full of things to take you out of the room. "Now that you've made it, here are a plethora of things you can do to not make it. Here are a... Here's the Out door..." and... It's a fill-in-the-blank you know. It's like mad libs. It's like:

[puts hand up to ear like a telephone] "Oh hey John, this is [person that plays... person in the room]... Umm, [person's name, famous person's name] wants to meet you, they want to meet at the top of [famous restaurant] umm, they're really into ya, come on down, you know, in [number] minutes"
and you go... "no." And inside you go... "yeah," but outside you go, "n-n-no." Because those are all ways to take you out. They exist as soon as you get... Even if you're not successful, when you get successful... It's like...

I got successful when I was 23, and that's a crazy looking arc if you chart it out... And all I gotta do is stay up. And sometimes coming down is something to do, because staying up is really boring. If I go out to a party, most people who ask me to a party ask me there so I can be the famous guy at the party, not so I can meet famous people at the party. I am now... When I’m on a plane from New York to LA or LA to New York, and I go [looking around the room], "there are no famous people on the plane, there's usually always one famous person on a plane from New York to LA..." and I go, "ahh shit that's me!! That's not right!"

Umm, this is a song about... making sure you still love yourself... making sure you still have your head on, making sure you still say no the way your mom would say no. And I will need it every damn day of my life because it's easier to mess up than it is to stay here.""

Yeah. JM babehs. And oh. He has a couple of time-pieces that are worth up to about $10k and a collection of 200 different sneakers. Ah. Rich kid.

Apart from my JM craze, I think Fall Out Boy is another band worth paying attention to. Even though they keep changing their genres album after album, they're still a unique band with their very very unique sounds. Haha. Pete writes good lyrics, Stump writes catchy music.

They started of with alternative music, then a little into punk rock, then a little into pop, and then diving into pop. 'Take this to Your Grave', 'From Under the Cork Tree', 'Infinity on High' and their latest album, 'Folie a Deux'. Nice albums one should definitely get, if you like a mix of genres. '**** Live in Phoenix', their live album, is also worth buying. Haha. But you could just ask me for the link to ******** it. Hehe.

Hmm. Nothing else to talk about. Alright. Shall stop here. Cya!

2009-03-23T20:03:00.003+08:00

Ah. It's been long since I've blogged, and damn, the holidays are over. Time just had to run faster eh?

Gosh. I've spent too much money throughout the holidays. I have to cut down on my spending or I'd really just die.

Anyways, the reason why I haven't blogged was cause I was too lazy to blog, and also because there was nothing to blog about. Not so much of being happy. The hols were too short. Only thing interesting was Loudfest. Ah. I only went for one night. Damn. It was sooo sooo good. Haha.

Sentosa was fine, Cavell's house too. Nothing interesting happened during the week.

Ah. I feel super brain dead. Need more sleep.

Skipped school today cuz my head hurt like crazy, like as if it was ruptured. Ahhh. Reached home at about 9.30 and slept till 3, woke up, had lunch and slept till 7. What a wonderful day to spend my day. I'm just tooo freaking tired. Ah.

Nothing to post about. Ah. Alright. Shall stop here. Bye!

2009-03-08T20:55:00.003+08:00

I realized, I only blog if something big and exciting happens, or when I'm sad. Or when I'm bored. Haha. Rarely blog when I'm happy.

And as we grow older, we just ask ourselves why we're so innocent.

Life's pretty dull. Nothing big, nothing happy. Tsk.

The most safest place in my life, is the most dangerous place in my life.

Ah. Worrying won't help. And what can I do, apart from watch all the little performances that we all stage infront of everyone? Stinks to not know what to do. And I wonder why people still hold on to hope. I think it's pretty pointless now. It's a war everyday, with only a few whom you can really trust. And yeah, I ask myself who my true friends are.

Can't really answer that question.

There's just too much gossip, too much b*tch*ng behind the scenes. It's all about pride. Thinking that we're always better than others. I ain't pointing fingers, but it's true that we all feel that way most of the time.

Pride.

My pride.

I wish I could get rid of it. But I guess it's a little too hard.

I'm thinking too much again. Gosh.

I think I'll stop here. Shall post soon. Goodnight.

2009-03-03T20:51:00.002+08:00

And now I really see how united our class is. "DON'T USE THE WORD DAMN". Wonderful. And turning around to face the window. Haha. Our spectacular and marvelous use of the English. The class' (more like only 5 people) flawless insults, coupled with their superb Hokkien and Malay vulgarities. I know I'm not supposed to, but I was LAUGHING MY ASS OFF. It was hilarious. And only those in my class know what I'm speaking of. There's no way that Kcebber could ever tame us.

Enough of that nonsense huh. Hehe.

Today was a pathetic day. Not emotionally. Just that it was tooooo boring.

And Joseph did not know the ten commandments, because the ten commandments were given by God two books later, in Exodus. Wonderful. An interesting message indeed.

GOSH.

Never mind. Only those who pay attention in chapel will know what I'm talking about.

Tuition was alright. I was making fun of Wilfred throughout the whole thing. Haha. At least we treat each other more like friends then have that stupid and pathetic student and teacher relationship. There's only one thing wrong about him, he just can't stop saying this irritating line, 'Are you done yet?'. GOSH. It's like he gives you a question, and then he continues with his great X 10^10000000000 grandfather stories - which gives you no time or helps you to concentrate on doing your work - and then asking whether we've done it or not. Ridiculous. Haha. But tuition has been a blast with him. It's nice to have him around. Just that sometimes he talks to much, and also that he shares his vocabulary knowledge with my classmates.

Being bombarded with vulgarities isn't healthy. But then again, I can't help but laugh at how people insult each other. Haha..

Started listening to Dashboard Confession recently. I think the songs in the album, 'Places You Have Come to Fear the Most', sound a lot like Secondhand Serenade's songs. But lyrically, I think DC owns SHS. Vocal-wise too. No offence to SHS lovers, but it's preeeetty much whining, his songs about love and everything.

Talking about lyrics, I kind of agree with Abijoy, that Fall Out Boy's lyrics are really abstract. Like really, really abstract.
'I'm a loose bolt, of a complete machine
What a match, I'm half doomed and your semi-sweet'
Fine. It's either the fact that I'm too dumb to understand, it's just too abstract, or the lyrics are just pure crap. I STILL think that the lyrics are too abstract.

Anyways, Coldplay's coming to town. If the tickets are below $100 bucks then I think I should be going. Anyone wanna follow? I don't wanna buy the free-standing tickets though. Coldplay isn't really a band that people can jump to. Haha.. But that's IMO.

Hmm. It's pretty early now. Guess I'll go play some games or go chat on msn. Shall post soon.

Goodnight!

2009-02-27T20:10:00.003+08:00

GOT PROBLEM LAH - Anonymous

Ah. School's starting to suck. REAL BAD. Like, the M doesn't stand for methodist anymore, it stands for MILITARY. Really. Our school's just going six feet under. We need to get out of this prison. GOT PROBLEM LAH!

Okay. Enough of the complaints.

I went to IKEA for lunch with Zane, Yu Fan and his girlfriend Joanne, who apparently is a missionary from MEXICO. Wonderful country. AND HER BROTHER'S CALLED JOSIAH! So cool right. Haha.

My original plan was to go to town to eat at like Sakae Sushi or Fish and Co. but no one was free so, ended up sitting down in the canteen after school asking/looking for people to follow me. BUT, NO ONE WANTED TO GO. So irritating. Zane asked me to follow him to the general office to get a bible so I followed him, and I saw Yu Fan and asked him, and he said YES. Wah. I was overjoyed. Haha. But we didn't go to town cause Zane had to rush back for his NCC camp.

Went to IKEA and saw some other Fairsians. Julia, Sue Ann, Isabel and Justina, and some sec5 guy who was sitting at the corner of the cafe. Oh. When we were about to pay for our food some very nice lady turned to me and gave me her coupon/ticket thingy so I didn't have to pay for my drink. WONDERFUL. Haha. So we finished lunch at about 3 or so and headed for the MRT station.

Got home about 4 plus just now. Feeling very tired. Ahh.. Supposed to go for the prayer walk but I felt toooo tired to get out of bed. Damn. Something's definitely wrong with me.

Hmm. Practice tomorrow. Then chem tuition at Desmond's place again. Can't find the notes he gave to me. AHHHHHH. I'm gonna die. Damn.

Think I should go look for em. GOODBYE!

2009-02-22T17:40:00.004+08:00

I feel miserable.

Everyone's changed. And they've changed so much I don't even recognise them.

Sigh. Everyone's just so distant and far away now.

Bleh. I'm bored, as usual. Someone give me something to do.

Oh, is anyone free like this Friday afternoon or something? I wanna go to town and just walk around. Just looking for someone to accompany me.

What's wrong with me.

Ah. I think I'll post more another time. Too many thoughts racing in my head. See ya.

2009-02-21T21:38:00.003+08:00

The documentary film about J.O. Fraser was good. I could have gone for Fusion though. DAMN.

Hmm. Had chemistry tuition at my cousin's place today. And I think his teaching's quite good. And there's no homework! Yay.

Ah. I'm very bored.

Went to Joie's house yesterday to celebrate her birthday. Hmm. Swam a little, ate a little, and played guitar. I went a little too early though. Reached at 3.30 or so and stoned there for 2 1/2 hours watching the television. I was SOOO BORED. And I realised that I suck at blowing balloons. I took 3 hours to blow one. How wonderful. Haha.

Damn. I'm tired. Wonder why.

Hmm. Shall post tomorrow. Goodnight!

2009-02-19T20:49:00.003+08:00

Ah. Tuesday was pathetic. I felt like dying/commiting suicide. Yep. Life's never fair.

Anyways, school's been boring, and I've been trying my best to not fall asleep during class. It's like there's nothing to look forward to. AHH.

Oh.

Ah damn. Forgot what I wanted to talk about. Never mind.

Ah.. I need more music. All the songs are just a little too boring. Need more music. MUST HAVE MORE MUSIC.

And I just realised I haven't watched any anime since November. Wow. I'm good ain't I. Haha.

Very bored now. Damn.

Shall post another time. Goodbye!

2009-02-15T21:50:00.004+08:00

AH. I like my new skin. Yay. But the tagboard still is dead. PLEASE TAG LUH.

Hmm. Watched Pink Panther 2 today. STINKED. IMO though. Risk your money if you want to.

And I was thinking, why be a friend when you can be more than one? Yep, I don't wanna be a friend, I wanna be everyone's guardian angel.

But of course someone's gotta be MY guardiangel. Just have to find one. DAMN.

Ahhh. Chara's leaving on saturday! NOOOO. So I'm gonna die. No one to talk to when I'm all emotional and sad. NOOOO.

Ahh. I got a cut on my hand. Accidents happen. But I think this one looks quite cool! Thanks Andreas. Haha! And my right hand feels cramped. AHHHHH.

Oh. I only slept for 2 hours. WHY DON'T I FEEL TIRED. AHHH. INSOMNIA! NOOOOO.

Bleh. I'm shouting real lot for this post ain't I? Damn...

Anyways, I'm gonna go try sleep now. So yea. Goodnight people! And God bless!

Thank You for that word God. Thank You for the messengers that You've sent. Now I know I can live without being afraid about my future.

2009-02-14T17:30:00.002+08:00

I wish I was who I was last time. Ahh.

WHY DO WE HAVE TO CHANGE. DON'T LIKE IT. HATE IT.

I WANNA BE ME AGAIN. NOT SOME OTHER GUY. NOOOOOOOOOO.

2009-02-12T20:06:00.004+08:00

The first ever band I was crazy about was Fall Out Boy. Songs like Dead On Arrival and Grand Theft Autumn/Where Is Your Boy were the songs that caught my attention. Got the album from a classmate when I was sec 1. I think their best album is still their first ever one. 'Take this to Your Grave'. Yep, their best. Their third album in my opinion is the most boring one. They did more pop-ish stuff in 'Folie A Deux'.

But their the first band that I've ever liked so, they rock!

When I was in primary school I listened to crap, like Simple Plan (IN MY OPINION). Music changed my life I guess. I started to learn how to play the guitar when I was sec 1, due to the influence of my classmates. I would just wake up early and play it and have my parents come out of their rooms and scold me.

Oh. It was also the year that my parents got a piano for my sister. And yeah, I woke up early again to play the piano, just to have my parents rant at me again. They love me. Haha.

After church camp a few of us decided to play for the Hi_Kids, so we formed a band. Thaddeus was the guitarist, Joel and Charlotte keyboardists, me on the drums, Andrew, Benjamin, Charlotte, Brenda and Joyce singing, and Clement who only took one day to learn the bass. Haha. And yeah, we had fun with Uncle David coaching us and all.

Me and Thaddeus went to audition for Storm near the end of our secondary 1 year, and we were told that we were gonna play for Storm when we were in sec 2, so we've been playing since then. And now the joker's singing and playing electric guitar too.

I guess music has affected my life in a certain number of ways. I've found a way to express myself, and also, it gives me another way of worshipping God by serving Him. Through music, I've made many friends and it was also because of it, I got into my current CCA, the Fairfield Guitar Ensemble.

I really wanna thank God for giving me these talents. Haha.

Anyways, I had guitar today. And oh, the doctor said that my wrist problem was because of a stiff muscle. So, I went for guitar, and couldn't play due to that silly cramp, and had to babysit the sec ones. Watching them all play guitar infront of me made me jealous. AHH. So I pretty much wasted my time there. Fell asleep after they left. Haha.

Hmm. Cross country's tomorrow. Ahh. Don't feel like going. Never mind. I'll just go for the mass 'run'. Hehe. 7/11's on the 4.8km route! Yayness.

Hmm. I've got nothing much to post about.

Oh, another band that I was crazy about, and still very much in love with is Paramore! Somehow I can just relate my emotions to the lyrics. Anger, sadness and even happiness. Love them.

Grand Theft Autumn/Where Is Your Boy - Fall Out Boy
Where is your boy tonight?
I hope he is a gentleman
Maybe he won't find out what I know
You were the last good thing about this part of town

When I wake up
I'm willing to take my chances on
The hope I forget
That you hate him more than you notice I wrote this for you

You need him
I could be him
I could be an accident but I'm still trying
That's more than I can say for him

Someday I'll appreciate in value
Get off my ass and call you
But for the meantime I'll sport my brand new fashion
Of waking up with my pants off at 4:00 in the afternoon

Saturday - Fall Out Boy
I'm good to go
And I'm going nowhere fast
It could be worse I could be taking you there with me
I'm good to go
But it looks like I'm still on my own

I'm good to go for something golden
Though the motions I've been going through have failed
And, I'm coasting on potential towards a wall
At a hundred miles an hour

When I said

Two more weeks, my foot is in the door
I can't sleep in the wake of saturday
Saturday, when these open doors were open ended
Saturday, when these open doors were open ended

Pete and I attack the lost Astoria with promise and precision
And a messed up youthful innocence
I read about the afterlife, but I never really lived
More than an hour

And I read about the afterlife, but I never really lived
And I read about the afterlife, but I never really lived

Pressure - Paramore
Tell me where our time went
And if it was time well spent
Just don't let me fall asleep
Feeling empty again

Cuz I fear I might brake
And I fear I can't take it
Tonight I'll lie awake
Feeling empty

I can feel the pressure
It's getting closer now
We're better off without you
I can feel the pressure
It's getting closer now
We're better off without you

Now that I'm losing hope
And there's nothing else to show
For all the days that we spent
Carry away from home

Some things I'll never know
And I had to let them go
I'm sitting all alone
Feeling empty

Let the Flames Begin - Paramore
What a shame we all became such fragile, broken things
A memory remains just a tiny spark
I give it all my oxygen,to let the flames begin
To let the flames begin

Oh, glory
Oh, glory

This is how we'll dance when
When they try to take us down
This is what will be
Oh, glory

Somewhere weakness is our strength
And I'll die searching for it
I can't let myself regret such selfishness
My pain and all the trouble caused
No matter how long
I believe that there's hope
Buried beneath it all and
Hiding beneath it all, and
Growing beneath it all, and

This is how we'll dance when
When they try to take us down
This is how we'll sing it
This is how we'll stand when
When they burn our houses down
This is what will be
Oh, glory

Reaching as I sink down into light
Reaching as I sink down into light

Goodnight guys!

2009-02-10T21:36:00.004+08:00

Hello world. At least I'm feeling better now.

Hmm. Didn't go to school today. Found out that I DIDN'T fracture my wrist, YAY! And that the lump isn't a tumor, MEGA YAY! Some limpthnote swell thingy. So stayed at home, did some work and used the computer. Left home at about 5 for tuition. Hmm. Tuition was slack, as usual. Oh. Got myself a wrist guard so I wouldn't move my hand so much. Yayness.

Hmm. There's nothing much to post about. Damn.

Let this Go - Paramore

Maybe if my heart stops beating
It won't hurt this much
And never will I have to answer
Again to anyone

Please don't get me wrong because

I'll never let this go
But I can't find the words to tell you
I don't want to be alone
But now I feel like I don't know you

One day you'll get sick of
Saying that everything's all right
And by then I'm sure I'll be
Pretending just like I am tonight

Bombers - Yellowcard

This is the deepest cut I
Think I have ever felt
These are the things I think but I will never tell
I'm trying to walk these bridges
Burning beneath my feet
Well I am an echo I am heard but never seen

These are your hearts
Like bombs they're coming down
They're falling on me now
And this my last try
Got one thing left to prove
There's a bomber in me too

This is a mirror image
Of everything I'm not
Always reflecting what I've learned but was not taught
If I could make things different
If I could press restart
Then I would hold back every breath that went too far

Sometimes I feel like I am working in the dark
Collecting names collecting all the mending hearts
And if your one that I have missed along the way
Then I'm rehearsing all the things I'd like to say
This isn't easy for me
This isn't easy

Just some songs I've been listening to. Haha. Goodnight guys.

2009-02-09T19:29:00.004+08:00

Yesterday was horrible, disgusting, and terrible.

I was on my way home at night and suddenly so many thoughts came into my mind. I felt like crying. I felt pathetic.

It's hard to listen.

I have two voices in my head. One is saying your pathetic, stop tryin, you'll never find happiness, this world stinks your friends stink. You have no life here, no business. Your just a nobody, a useless and unwanted person. Your friends are all just part time friends, you don't have true friends. The other is saying and telling me that I have hope, that there are friends who care. It's telling me that I'm a somebody and it's telling me I mean something to the world. It's telling me to trust in God, and to see myself how God sees me and not how others do. It's just so freaking hard to decide on who to listen. Yeah. It's just freaking easy to say listen to the second voice, but I wanna give up.

Betrayed, insulted, left for the dead. There's no one to trust, and almost everyone's just too obsessed with their own problems.

I'm confused

I'm lost

I'm angry pissed and sad

I feel like giving up. I felt so terrible tears started flowing. And I hated the feeling. It just made me feel so miserable, pathetic. Music wasn't even there to face me. I cried, I prayed, nothing happened.

I woke up, went to school and found out that I have a lump on my neck which hurts. Thank God it's just a cramp, not a tumor. And my wrist still hurts like crazy, I can't even bend my hand forward. What did I do to have to go through these hurts, these pains?

It stinks. It just stinks.

Was shuffling through my iPod, and I chanced upon a song called 'Open Your Eyes' by Desperation Band, and the lyrics just melted my heart.

Yeah. I realized, there's no one else for me, only God. He will always be there. He will always be listening.

Open Your Eyes
I see You hanging there
Blood stained and freedom in Your hands
I see amazing grace
Agony and passion on Your face

Now that I see You I know
Your love commands my soul
Now that I know You I see
There’s no one else for me

I see You standing here
Scarred hands of hope have been revealed
I see You took my place
What was meant for me has been erased

Open your eyes, look to the skies
The King of love, the King of heaven
Tell everyone, your daughters and sons
The King of love, the King of heaven

Then the first voice said this to me," If God is listening, why isn't He doing anything?"

I broke down. I cried. But I do believe He is listening. Yeah. Like I said before, everything has a purpose. Even satan does. Maybe God's testing me. He did say that He would give us only what we can handle. But I think it's a little too much. Yeah. Call me emotional, because I am emotional. I'm a human, I need love. I need care and concern.

"A changed life will change lives"

That came into my head. It was from yesterday's sermon. Unless you change first, you cannot expect to change others. Then another thought came into my head. "A friend will have friends". If you can't be a friend to anyone, don't expect anyone to be your friend.

What did I do wrong then. Tell me. I will amend. I promise.

God touch me. Change me and heal my broken heart. You said that if we believe, You'd give. Now I'm just asking you to heal my heart, and give me ways to solve my problems. I'm crying out to you. I know you hear this. Please Lord, help me.

I need answers. And I'm gonna look for them.

2009-02-07T17:16:00.003+08:00

Ah. Haven't blogged since 28th Jan. That's long.

Hmm. There's nothing much to do these days, except for sleeping and going to school and eating. So I'm really very bored now.

OH. I heard they gave Underworld a rating of 1.5. Damn. Should I watch it? Ahhh.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH LOOK AT THAT!! I WANT ONE!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Damn. Need to get out of Singapore, then I'll buy one and keep it. YAY.

Goodbye people!

2009-01-28T20:37:00.003+08:00

Hey! Please watch the videos from the previous post. They're real funny. Haha.

Anyways I had CCA today. Well, it ended a little early. Didn't really do anything. Practiced a couple of pieces, then played some Jason Mraz and Hillsongs with Gan. Had boring lessons, but at least time flew by quick.

Oh, Happy CNY to whoever's reading this blog.

Dang. Nothing much to post about. Haha. Shall post another time then. Cya.

2009-01-26T22:15:00.002+08:00

WATCH ALL TWO VIDS.

2009-01-25T21:56:00.003+08:00

Damn. Whoever's from my cell, I won't be able to make it on this Saturday for the outing. So you guys can go ahead, without me again. DAMN. First it was Twilight, now this.

You know, I can't help but feel insignificant sometimes. Like, no one wants me. I'm just another random person that you know. And it sucks, alright, it stinks.

CAN WE JUST HAVE AN OUTING WITH THE WHOLE GANG TOGETHER LIKE, FOR ONE MORE TIME? Like we did when we were sec 2. Damn.

Bored. Pissed. Tired.

Liar liar
Stop yourself from catching fire, fire

2009-01-24T19:06:00.003+08:00

Guess what. I'm an INFP. Long since I took the test. Like for about 4 months or so.

I'm tired now. And my head hurts. Don't know why. Not a headache or anything. Maybe I'm just thinking too much. And I don't want to. Sigh.

'A Beautiful Mess' by Jason Mraz is quite a nice song.

Nothing to blog about. Damn. Very bored. What a uninteresting life I have.

Sigh. Someone bring me back to reality please.

2009-01-23T16:19:00.002+08:00

Awkward moments. Tsk.

Fall Out Boy, Yellowcard, Colbie Cailliat, Jason Mraz, John Mayer, The Cab, The Used, 30 Seconds to Mars, Muse, Corrinne May. That's not enough. Someone introduce me to a new band please.

Supposed to go jamming, but Calvin didn't practice enough, so he called it off. Decided to watch Underworld 3 today cause the trailer said 23rd Jan, but I saw some poster and it said 5th Feb so we called it off. Came home to sleep. Hope I can go out tomorrow after practice.

I feel lost. I guess I'm just doing things too fast. Which stinks. I need to slow down. Damn. Just don't know how. Yeah, I just wanna sit down and watch life slowly pass by.

A thought came into my head before I went to sleep. If I ever went into a coma, or died, how many people would visit me, or come for my funeral? How many people would bother to come and stay with me during my 'sleep'? Makes you think twice about the way you treat people. And I think that yeah, I've been pretty rude to some people. Forgive me if some crude words slip out. I'm trying my best. Sigh.

I guess I'm tired. Stress is killing me. And I so feel like giving up.

At least something interesting happened today. During the performance the power tripped. Like, your looking forward to something good, and then suddenly the lights go out. Haha. Super funny. Went for Carl's Junior with Nerdsville just now though. Meal was great. Didn't finish my chilli fries though. Sad...

I feel like running away from reality again. Let me be a coward for now.

Tired, shall post another time.

2009-01-21T20:03:00.003+08:00

Apart from the fact that I'm still adapting to this 'study or die' attitude, life's been pretty good so far. At least I want to learn, and at least I have people who are supporting me and cheering me on.

Yay me?

Yay me!

CCA was a bore today. At least English was interesting. We read a little bit on biology, and psychology. About kids and parents. And yesterday for English we wrote about our favourite kind of music, and what we liked particularly about them. I wrote about alternative music cause I didn't know how to describe what indie music was like. Chemistry and Physics was quite boring. Did some revision in class. Oh! Today's E-math's test was ridiculously easy. Won't get 40/40 though, cause I used pie instead of 3.142, which was what the question wanted. Apart from that, I think I'd get most of the questions right. Yayness.

SYF's coming up soon, and I think we're really going nowhere. Like, we aren't really aiming high enough. We ain't got any passion. We need to raise our standard I guess. At least we've gotten ourselves 2 instructors.

And I don't see what gives someone the right to create rules if that person doesn't even come for CCA. Really, I think it's dumb, and definitely selfish. If you can, why can't we? Cause your special? Nah. 'All animals are equal', no animal is more equal than the other. Who made you queen, spoilt kid.

Tsk. I feel bad.

Who cares. Hmm. Feeling a little tired now. CCA tomorrow again.

I do hope I can go for jamming on Friday, and lunch at Carl's junior before that. Hope Mr JQ does have that barbeque, then I'd be out the whole day. Yayness.

And CNY's coming soon. Damn. Christmas just passed. Even Maplestory still has the Christmas spirit, with their presents and snow. Not that I play the game, I just have two people sitting beside me play that very boring game. I do hope I'd get more this year. But I doubt so, because of that economic crisis that the whole world is facing. Damn the cause.

Argh. My boredom's gonna kill me one day. And dad just got an iPhone. Bet it'll spoil. Muahaha.

I've been thinking a lot recently, and I've started to become neater! That's a start. Haha. Life's been great so far, with Wilfred treating me and JK to Canadian Pizza and Swensons yesterday, and getting my new Adidas windbreaker and my new Adidas bag! Adidas........ Soon I'm gonna get the bottle, cap, watch, shirt, pants and socks. Yayness.

Sometimes I thank God for emotions. Sometimes I really wonder why He wired us up like that. I certaintly think that the world would be a very beautiful place if we didn't have the emotions called 'anger' and 'jealousy'.

And only now, have I realised that gossiping is super super bad. You gossip about someone and you think it's perfectly fine, but what if others are gossiping about you? Sucks to know that. And since you don't wanna be a victim of gossip, don't gossip about others.

I feel tired. Damn. Alright. Shall post another time. Goodbye!

2009-01-15T20:15:00.003+08:00

You won't bring me down this time.

Long day. School, CCA. HOME.

Today was kind of boring. At least I've got all my work submitted.

Woke up a little too early. Tsk.

I feel irritated.
Pissed.
Happy.
Sad.
Tired.
Energetic.
Motivated.
Demoralized.

I wanna play the drums. Like now.

Apart from music, it's the only way I get my emotions under control.

I wanna scream.

You're pushing and pulling me down to you.

Paramore's good. They calm me, make me feel relaxed. But their music makes me think. A lot.

Change's knocking on my door. I can hear it calling my name. But I'm not ready to accept it. Then again, if I don't then when will I ever.

2009-01-15T05:46:00.004+08:00

Never give up. Even when your whole world comes crashing down, never give up.

Don't give up, it's just the weight of the world.

I realised what Thaddeus realised, the power of 'I can', it works wonders, even miracles. Like I said, only you can stop your own tears from falling, and in the same way, only you can tell yourself that you can do it. Do your best, let God do the rest.

Don't give up. Even if you want to.

It doesn't matter whether you've won the race or not, it's about COMPLETING IT.

For example, if someone who follows God and brings many people to Christ, God will definitely welcome him to the kingdom of heaven. But even if we can't bring the whole world to Christ, if we are to follow His word, and obey Him, He will still welcome us into the kingdom of heaven in the same way.

The same power that conquered the grave lives in me.

And that same power's gonna bring me to higher heights, to deeper depths. It's just a matter of whether you believe it, or whether you wanna tell yourself that YOU CAN do it.

It's 5.55 am. Not a really good start to the day. And yesterday I felt like dying. Sheesh.

Got to go prepare for school now. Long day ahead. Shall post sometime soon.

See you! And good morning Thursday.

2009-01-14T20:43:00.002+08:00

Right now I'm going crazy.

I need to calm down.

I need to breathe.

2009-01-14T20:15:00.001+08:00

FREAK.

2009-01-12T20:41:00.006+08:00

KADAJ!

I want a materia in my arm toooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

YAZOO AND LOZ! Yazoo's definitely better. Screw the punky Loz.

YAZOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Just look at his pretty pretty pretty Velvet Nightmare. I WANT ONE! Screw anime.

The Remnants still own Cloud. Cloud stinks. Silver hair people own yellow hair people!

2009-01-12T18:45:00.003+08:00

If only we could turn back time. Then we could erase all the mistakes that we've made, save the friendships that we've lost, cherished every moment we had with our friends, studied harder, make more friends, learn more skills, get to the right school.

I've had regrets in life. I hated the choices that I made, like for example, my school. I could have gone to a better stream. But I chose this school. There's a reason, definitely. Just that I don't have it. God does. Quitting track was another big mistake. Losing a few close friends too.

I guess some of you have had bigger regrets than I had, and some, more than I would ever have. But then again, there's no use in living in the past. We can't live our future in the past. We can't put the past into the future. We can only hope, and pray for the best.

Choices.
Actions.
Consequences.

Then again, there has been no one, and there won't be anyone who will ever lead a perfect life. Yea, life's unfair. But it's a gift from God. Why live reflecting on the bad choices that you've made, when you can look forward to making much better ones.

Something I've learnt in these 4 years. Only you can stop your own tears from falling. Only you can tell yourself to put a smile on your face. Yea, you say we need friends. They can only set the atmosphere, you have to decide for yourself.

Stop crying.
Stop bleeding.
Stop screaming.
Start living.

You had your choices, you chose your actions, now live with the consequences.

'Could you help me push aside, all that I have left behind.

2009-01-12T18:41:00.003+08:00

Lost for words.

2009-01-09T15:31:00.003+08:00

Time's taking it's time again. Tsk. Irritating.

This week has been boring. The only interesting thing that happened is that I changed my blog URL. Haha. Apart from that, this week stinks.

There's nothing to do. And I wanna go shopping for my new year clothes and a new bag. AND NEW SHOES. Don't know why but I just want to.

Very very very bored now.

Shall post some other time. Bye!

2009-01-04T21:43:00.003+08:00

I'm back from CCAB! Long since I've exercised. Tsk. I feel pathetic. Usually at the 200m mark I still can sprint after my stride but I SLOWED DOWN. Gosh. I NEED TO EXERCISE!

AND GET A A1 FOR THAT STUPID E-MATH PAPER AT THE END OF THE YEAR!

AND IMPROVE MY DRUM SKILLS!

AND DEFINITELY GET CLOSER TO GOD, MY FAMILY, AND MY FRIENDS!

AND WATCH MORE MOVIES!

AND SAVE $500 FOR YOUR WONDERFUL CHRISTMAS PRESENTS GUYS!

AND GIVE $20 FOR OFFERING EVERY MONTH!

AND DO ALL MY HOMEWORK EVERYTIME I GET ANY! CHINESE IS AN EXCEPTION!
MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

Oh. I'm into alternative pop again. TSK. Dance music. Call me a gay. Haha.

I'm starting to think a lot more recently. Hmm. That's bad isn't it.

Well, I do know that change is coming. I'm hoping it comes fast.

Oh! Dad wants the cell to start doing follow-ups! Hmm. I know who I wanna take (:

Youth was great today! Worship especially. Sadly we didn't do anything for cell, BECAUSE A CERTAIN FEW PEOPLE DIDN'T BRING THEIR BIBLE STUDY MATERIAL. Tsk. Haha.

School tomorrow. Yuck. Never mind. Hope I get through tomorrow without saying the word 'BORING'. AND YEAH. I SAID THE WORD. SO I OWE SOME SILLY GIRL LUNCH! Tsk.

Yay! I feel rich again. Holidays suck cuz I don't get any allowance or anything. Because I don't have school. Tsk. But whatever. Haha. Hope I don't overspend. I really wanna give you guys christmas presents.

Want me to tell you what I'm thinking of getting? Ask me personally. I'll tell you. Haha.

I'm gonna sleep early tonight. Haha. Need the rest. Yep yep.

Goodnight guys!

2009-01-04T16:09:00.003+08:00

BANKAI!

2009-01-03T22:53:00.001+08:00

I might sound desperate but I WANT A BEST FRIEND.

Tsk tsk tsk.

2009-01-02T21:53:00.003+08:00

I've been let loose and now I'm crawling up the walls
Word is I got away and now I must be caught
Don't leave, take it from me
I've been more than a king

I can't take that, I can't take that
I'm going crazy and I've been awake for days
My mirrors are stained with pain and portraits of your face
Don't leave, take it from me, You're my dirty disease.
I can't take that, I can't take that

My flatlined inhibition is my ammunition
I'm just fighting to get by
Just give me some direction
I'll be your affection
How could you leave me behind?

I'm a mess and you're worse
Just give me time
To give you a waste of time
One of those nights
When you leave me for no reason
I'll give you a reason

If seconds heal the wounds
I'll put these tips on you

I brought apologies I've tied in a bouquet
Just to find out that my face had been replaced
Deceived, it was a breeze, I was tossed to the street
I can't take that, I can't take that

My flatlined inhibition is my ammunition
I'm just fighting to get by
Just give me some direction
I'll be your affection
How could you leave me behind?

I'm a mess and you're worse
Just give me time
To give you a waste of time
One of those nights
When you leave me for no reason
I'll give you a reason

If seconds heal the wounds
I'll put these tips on you
When faith is left to prove
It's all you have to lose.

I'm a mess and you're worse
Just give me time
To give you a waste of time
One of those nights
When you leave me for no reason
I'll give you a reason

LISTEN TO THIS SONG!!!! MUST MUST MUST!!!!

2009-01-02T15:06:00.003+08:00

Super sad. Mrs Choe and Ms Ong ain't teaching me. Tsk.
Their like the only teachers that I can ask advice on, be it spiritual or mental. Like, their the only christian teachers that are teaching me. And their very very very very very very good teachers. Tsk. So stupid. Never mind. I think Mr Alvin Sim is a christian. Maybe it'll be the same.

Well, the first day of school was crap. Pretty much felt like dying. Cuz honestly, it was so b-ring that you could die of b-dom. Tsk. Can't say the word. It's neither 'b_st_rd', nor 'b_tch' guys, relax.

Hmm. Going to church early to do some work. Prayer meeting tonight. Hope more people will attend it.

Tsk. Irritated cuz I can't say the word. Tsk tsk tsk.

Shall post another time. Bye!

2009-01-01T21:40:00.003+08:00

2008.
Pathetic year for me. Hmm. I'm hoping this year will be a very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very good and fun one!

I'm gonna go crazy.

I feel my inner self screaming to get out.

I wanna fly!
I wanna jump!
I wanna run!
I wanna scream!

I wanna die.

TSK.

Nothing much to look forward to this year. Somehow letting 2008 go is freaking freaking hard, even though I hated the year. Like, accepting the fact that it's already 2009 is having a huge toll on my mind. I feel like, lost, out of this world, in another dimension. Tsk.

And I keep getting the feeling that the world's gonna end soon. Like, tomorrow soon, or an hour later soon. It keeps me calm, but at the same time makes me mad. Makes me happy, but also sad. I doubt I'll be able to sleep later, and I doubt that I'd be able to wake up too. And according to someone there won't be lessons tomorrow. STILL.

I DONT WANNA GO TO SCHOOL. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Tsk. A little too long wasn't it? Hmm, take that number of 'O's and multiply it by 90981519127346616546765489431764351654, and that will show you the magnitude of my hate for school to start. I like school, BUT I DONT WANT IT TO START. At least let it last forever instead of like give us a freaking long break and taking it away. IT'S PISSING.

I can't use the word that starts with 'B' which the second letter is the letter 'O', the third, 'R', followed by the fourth and fifth letter, 'E' and 'D'. DAMN. That's the way I feel right now. Tsk.

OH! I KNOW SOMETHING I CAN LOOK FORWARD TO! EAST TIMOR! YAY!
I do hope I get to go again.

Oh, and happy new year to a certain someone who I'm not allowed to talk to! YOU DIDN'T WISH ME DUMB DUMB. Never mind. Haha.

I'll post another time. Haha. Bye!

2008-12-27T23:29:00.004+08:00

I think it's disappointing to know that you've disappointed someone.

And I also think that it's hard to actually follow the rules.

I just wonder why some people can do it so well.

Thoughts aside.

Leaving for Sentosa tomorrow after church. My intuition's telling me that it's gonna be pretty boring. Never mind. At least I can get to do some of my tuition work.

Holidays are ending. Tsk. The very thought of it pisses me. I think I didn't really spend a lot of time with my friends this holiday.

God I'm here waiting for you to speak to me. Change me and mold me to be the person you want me to be. I want to be yours. Give me a spirit of optimism, of encouragement, of influence, of patience. Give me a heart of gold, one that's pure. Give me peace in my mind when all my troubles surround me. Keep my heart Lord, I surrender it to you. I dedicate my whole life to you. Teach me how to keep your word, to learn to obey your commandments. Teach me how to love, like you love me. Teach me to honor my parents. Teach me to watch the words that I say. Teach me to use words that heal, instead of destroy. Teach me Lord.

Heal my heart and make it clean
Open up my eyes to the things unseen
Show me how to love like You have loved me
Break my heart for what breaks Yours
Everything I am for Your kingdom's cause
As I walk from earth into eternity

Goodnight..

2008-12-26T16:18:00.003+08:00

Someone tell me what 'btw' stands for. By the way or between.

Wrong use of words could mean the start of a never ending dispute, or downfall of a nation, or even divorce.

Misconceptions and misunderstandings.

Anyways apart from all those thoughts, these holidays have been one of the most boring holidays I've ever had. Like, last year we could go out anytime we wanted to. This year, even getting out of the house is difficult. Cliques and all that really restrain us from being a united group. How is Jael ever gonna be united when there're so many cliques and groups and stuff. Even out of the major 3 cliques, they all have their own smaller circles. Cliques in cliques. So irritating. All the 'I hate that person' and all the 'He's a gossiper' kind of crap should just stop.

Went back to my thoughts didn't I. Damn.

Well I'm sitting at home waiting for night to come. Going over to Chocolateeh's house later. I'm bored. Sigh. Dad's maple-ing and sis is audition-ing, maid's clean-ing, mom's nagg-ing and I'm blogg-ing. And apart from blogg-ing I'm freaking rott-ing to death in this boring house of mine.

No slides, no swings, no swimming pools. I mean, yeah you don't expect a house to have all of that but still, my house is a little bit boring. Especially if my parents are around. Like if I'm really bored I do have the option of climbing the stairs with my hands by the railings. The thing is, if you have an over protective mom who screams whenever you do the ridiculous, it's kind of impossible to ever have fun even though my house is KIND OF big. Haha. Notice the two words in caps, I'm trying to emphasize. It is a small house though compared to other houses like samtan's. Haha.

I feel kind of stupid cuz like I'm talking to 3 people at the same time while blogging. Like I've spent 30 minutes already typing this post out, which should only take about 10 minutes or so.

Wonderful.
Awesome.
Interesting.

I'm freaking bored. Time passes slowly. I kind of wish for it to move slow cuz SCHOOL'S STARTING NEXT FRIDAY (DAMNIT!) but I think it's moving toooooo-ooooo-ooooooo slowly.

Dognabit. Now I'm talking to 4 people. GOSH. And a certain idiot is spamming me. GOSH.

Sometimes I wonder why some people keep such good quality computers but only play warcraft, maple and audition which are such low quality games (graphics and audio-wise). TSK TSK.
-Hints- Haha.

Alright. Shall stop here. Cya!

2008-12-25T18:47:00.003+08:00

Smile. Haha.

I just came back from West mall. Watched Bedtime stories there. Quite an interesting but rather slow show. 6/10? Haha.

Well today's Christmas, and yes, we're all supposed to be cheery and all. But why are we so down, broken hearted and gloomy? We should be rejoicing for this day to ever happen, for God to come and live among us.

This song touched my heart the moment I heard it. Hope it'd bless you guys too.

And with this Christmas wish is missed
The point I could convey
If only I could find the words to say to let
You know how much You've touched my life
Because here is where You're finding me
In the exact same place as New Year's eve
And from a lack of my persistency
We're less than half as close as I want to be

And the first time
That You opened Your eyes did You realize
That You would be my Savior
And the first breath that left Your lips
Did You know that it would change this world forever

And so this Christmas I'll compare
The things I felt in prior years
To what this midnight made so clear
That You have come to meet me here

To look back and think that
This baby would one day save me
In the hope that what You did
That you were born so I might live
To look back and think that
This baby would one day save me

And I
I celebrate the day
That You were born to die
So I could one day pray for You to save my life

2008-12-24T16:18:00.001+08:00

Hello, good morning, how ya do?
What makes your rising sun so new?
I could use a fresh beginning too
All of my regrets are nothing new

So this is the way
That I say that I need You
This is the way
This is the way

That I'm learning to breathe
I'm learning to crawl
I'm finding that You and You alone can break my fall
I'm living again, awake and alive
I'm dying to breathe in these abundant skies

Hello, good morning, how ya been?
Yesterday left my head kicked in
I never thought I could fall like that
Never knew that I could hurt this bad

I'm learning to breathe
I'm learning to crawl
I'm finding that You and You alone can break my fall
I'm living again, awake and alive
I'm dying to breathe in these abundant skies

So this is the way that I say
That I need You
This is the way
That I say I love You
This is the way
That I say I'm Yours
This is the way
This is the way

2008-12-23T20:00:00.001+08:00

ELVES! AND SATYRS!

YAY!

Somehow I believe elves exist. And I'm gonna find them

2008-12-23T13:10:00.002+08:00

Hello people!

Finished LOTR 3 just now. Movie was about 4hours long. Haha. Finished LOTR 2 at 12.27am and I finished LOTR 1 at around midnight on Sunday. Haha. I like shows that have elves, dwarves and magical creatures. Magic and swordplay, something I like a lot. I like elves too.

Anyways Christmas is coming soon. Hmm. I just hope it wouldn't be as bad a christmas as last year. Haha. Last year was terrible for me. Some know what happened. Haha. I still think it was quite dumb. But nevermind. Haha.

Andreas's party this Saturday. Hmm. Think I should be able to make it. Went to Vivo yesterday. Met the rest there and headed to west mall after collecting andrew's christmas gifts. Hang around at the arcade til 9 and sat at Koufu til 10. Headed home after that.

Hmm. I'm kind of bored. Damn. Lots of stuff to settle. Have to settle one by one luh.

Got to go. Cya!

2008-12-22T12:05:00.002+08:00

Okay I'm at Junkai's house now waiting for the stupid tuition teacher to come.

Damn. My injuries haven't healed yet.

Might be going to Sentosa later if I've nothing much to do. Josh and gang are currently playing vball there. Haha.

And we have to wait til next week before we can finally have our cell outing, after many months of not having one.

Oh! Sara you have to wait for Quarantine. Haha. I doubt I'd be free this week.

Well I have a good feeling about next year. I definitely do not want to waste it away being sad and all. What Pastor James said to me really changed my life. And in case you guys were thinking why I didn't go up for testimony, I didn't cuz it's personal, like that kind of 'only a few know' kind of stuff. Yep. Haha.

Well church yesterday was great. Youth service was great. And yea like Ivan said, we have to bring the annointing from camp and carry it wherever we go.

Thoughts running through my head. Many thoughts. Have a feeling that change is coming again. You could say I'm sick of it, but this time I think it'll turn out fine for me. I hope it does. Haha.

I think I need a break from all this thinking. Maybe things aren't so obvious after all.

I wanna smile again. I wanna laugh again. I wanna breathe.

And your still my best friend. So stop being so sad and get over me. I don't wanna see you be troubled for the whole of next year.

And I guess by now those of you who constantly read my blog you guys can guess who that is. Don't go talk to whoever you know I'm talking about about it. Thanks.

I think Junkai's brother wants to use the computer. Haha. I shall post another time. Bye!

2008-12-21T07:21:00.002+08:00

Everything's connected. Why some people meet others and why some people don't. God placed everyone inside of our lives for special reasons. You might not know it now but soon enough you'll know why.

There's a reason for everything. It's just up to us to find the reasons.

But I doubt we'd ever find them.

2008-12-20T12:39:00.003+08:00

We all have identities.

Some are kept secret, others are made known to the world.

Some people run away from their identity, others embrace it as if it's their everything.

Some people fight for their identities, others try their best to destroy it.

Some have found their identity, others still look for it.

I know I've found mine. But I don't wanna accept it, maybe not yet.

A man of influence. Not ready to accept it yet.

God get me through this journey safely.

2008-12-19T20:30:00.003+08:00

Just got back from youth camp and I guess I had fun, and grown.
Physical games were a challenge for me, and I vomitted cuz I couldn't take the smell of the mixed juice. Haha. Made friends, and got to know many more people. Having James Singh on the third night was great. God spoke through him to me, and yes, I have to agree and thank God for everything He has done.

Disappointments came to many of us. Happiness also brought smiles to our faces. But this youth camp has bonded Jael, and I'm really thankful for this camp. It has brought me to see the many different sides that everyone of us has, be it the good, bad or ugly. I've learnt alot, and I hope I can keep these lessons I've learnt with me forever.

Being a leader has made me see things that I've never had before. Like what Pastor James said, God's molding my character. I learnt how to be patient with my group members, learnt how to encourage them when they feel down, and I've also learnt that things may not always go according to the way we want it.

I got very demoralized during the first day of amazing race. Honestly, I now know how it feels to be brought down by people who have negative thoughts. First it was the pessimist-optimist ratio of 1:7. Suddenly it became 7:1. Disappointing, trying to cheer your group on when they're all like down and depressed. I prayed alot during the race and I got my answers.

It's not about losing, it's about completing the race. Even if we've only saved one soul compared to many who have saved thousands, so long as we obey God and love him, He will still be there at the finish line to say, "Well done good and faithful servant".

I thank God for this camp. Changed my life, and I hope many others.

But let's remember this, tell your problems how big your God is, not tell God how big your problems are. Goodnight

2008-12-10T18:27:00.003+08:00

OKAY!

I shall post a proper post, after not posting for about 2 or 3 weeks.

Life has been very dull, and gloomy for me. The minutes and seconds are just passing by very slowly. Have been thinking alot for the past few days, ending up with me feeling sad and exhausted. But I guess I have had my fun.

On sunday we had carolling practice after church, 2.30-5.30? Went to Cdans after that. Hmm, Kayhan came over for dinner and we played a round of dota.

Next day went to YC's house for our OBS group outing. Wasn't so much of a group. Just, 5 people. Watched Wall.E, Ironman and a little bit of Garfield. YC spent like over a hundred bucks on the food and we ended up finishing only a quarter to half of it. Haha. It was a very 'stonish' day.

Went to Sentosa yesterday for uncle John's (aka, Gordon's dad) birthday party. It was held at One Degree 15. So dumb. The keyboard doesn't have that degree sign. Anyways, I reached Gordon's house at around 2 or so. He introduced me to his irritating girlfriend, Winnie, finished my McChicken meal and we headed off.

When we reached there we slacked around in the lobby for awhile and we met Kimberly (THIS POST IS GONNA LEAVE MANY OF YOU GUYS CLUELESS ABOUT WHO'S WHO AND WHATEVER SO SORRY XD) and her dad. He asked me to carry all their stuff up to their room. How nice. Got it all up real quick and then rushed over to Gordon's room.

He set up the X360 and played abit of Halo 3 and Silent Hill: Homecoming. I was feeling quite bored. So we decided to go to the beach.

The journey there was interesting. Gordon's chauffeur got lost on the way there. Haha. It was quite amazing to know that half of Sentosa still hasn't been touched yet. Fine, it has been. More of big mansions and boat docks. The houses there cost about 5 million or more if I'm not wrong.

We drove down to the beach station, and from there we walked to Siloso beach. It was kind of crowded. Many people there were preparing for the Zouk fest this coming 13 December, setting up the lightings and stages and the amplifiers. Apart from that there were quite alot of other people. It's kind of rare to see so many people in Sentosa, in my opinion. Oh, we saw a monk with 4 ladies. Wonderful. Monk's don't even go to the beach but this guy had 4 ladies with him. Really, wonderful. My butt.

Swam for awhile, played with Gideon, got bored, got out of the pool, went to the toilet to rinse myself, then headed back to the station. Driver fetched us back to the hotel, bathed, played a little bit of Fallout 3 and went for uncle John's birthday dinner.

It was held at the function room. Glass walls, nice food, and many balloons flying around the room. About 20-30 people came, and we already had about 13 kids? I think. Gordon's cousins, his dad's friends, our friends.

And you guessed it, we played catching. Haha. Ran around the whole place, and I think we got the people in the lounge pissed. But we had fun.

Went back to the room for a few rounds of Halo 3. The kids left the room at around midnight so we watched a bit of Russell Peters and I got tired so I attempted to sleep. And having someone who snores like an elephant in the same room stinks. I tossed and turned for about an hour or so, finally got to sleep. Slept on the cold hard floor with just a pillow. Wonderful.

The next day, which is today, was rather boring. Woke up, had breakfast, and then left for Singapore. So dumb. Why? Because I had tuition at 1. In the end it was shifted to 3.30 but I was at home by the time I received the message so, it was kind of dumb. Bathed, and slept for about an hour or so. Went for tuition, came back.

Yep. Kind of tired. I should be sleeping early tonight. Haha. Goodnight people

2008-12-10T13:27:00.003+08:00

let me go

leave me alone

let me run

being afraid is what i want

2008-12-10T13:23:00.003+08:00

masks, lies, shadows

2008-12-08T23:05:00.002+08:00

whatever. i've had enough

2008-12-08T22:14:00.002+08:00

To lose a close friend is one thing.

To lose 4 close friends in 2 years is another.

2008-11-26T10:47:00.004+08:00

I've got my memories
Always inside of me
But I can't go back
Back to how it was
I believe you now
I've come too far
No I can't go back
Back to how it was

Created for a place
I've never known

This is home
Now I'm finally where I belong
Where I belong
Yeah, this is home
I've been searching for a place of my own
Now I've found it
Maybe this is home
Yeah, this is home

Belief over misery
I've seen the enemy
And I won't go back
Back to how it was
And I got my heart set on
What happens next
I got my eyes wide
It's not over yet
We are miracles
And we're not alone

And now after all
My searching
After all my questions
I'm gonna call it home
I got a brand new mindse
tI can finally see the sunset
I'm gonna call it home

Now I know
Yeah, this is home

I've come too far
And I won't go back
Yeah, this is home

2008-11-19T12:44:00.004+08:00

Nothing to do.

Making my I.C. later. Might be going to Sentosa tomorrow. Bet it'll be boring.

Quite bored now.

Life's slow. Very.

Need to move Faster. Further.

Went to Andrew's house yesterday. Slacked around for about 3 hours or so then the whole gang came over to watch Home Alone. Actuallly wanted to watch 1, 3 and 4 but we ended up watching 3 and 4 only. 4 was relatively boring.

Need more music. New bands. More alternative. IT'S JUST SO BORING.

My life feels dead. Like it's as if it'd end soon.

Lots off stuff to say.

But I don't think I should.

Bleh..

Talking to Chara on the phone was interesting.
Old times.
Whenever I feel lost or like, when my mind's blank, I always talk to her and I guess things always work out.
That's good I guess.

Yesterday I.M.O. was a waste of time. Nothing interesting. Singapore's so boring.

And I guess I feel too comfortable in church. Like, everyone's really family. That's bad, although it is good.

Sigh. Shall end. Bye!

2008-11-15T22:22:00.001+08:00

I'm back.

Broken hearts parade.

2008-11-06T22:50:00.004+08:00

USA! NICE RIGHT! I TOOK IT WITH MY HANDPHONE CAMERA!!! PRO RIGHT!! XD

CHINA!

2008-11-06T22:30:00.003+08:00

DINNER JUST NOW.

Actually didn't do much. Just spending time with my friends is good enough. Haha. We wanted to mess the condo toilets and climb into a primary school but too many people chickened out. SAD.

Ate at PASTAMANIA! The food's quite alright I guess? A little cold and tasteless. But it was good enough. The garlic bread was.. very... bad. Sadly. Haha. But it's alright. I didn't finish my food but then after we left I felt hungry again. Hehe.

After that BEN, GERALDINE, LEMUEL, JIREH, ELISA, AND ALICIA CAME LATE. I book one whole row for them and they came an hour late. SO STUPID. So when they arrived we went upstairs to the food court to watch them eat. And and at the top floor there's this escalator that leads to like, NO WHERE AT ALL. Like, you walk up and there's like nothing there at all. SO.... dumb. Haha.

Oh! Thanks Joyce, Samtan, Germaine and Choc for the tigger!!! VERY CUTE! Haha. Thanks!

Hmm school tomorrow. Don't feel like going. It's like so pointless, self-studying is BORING.

And and my cousin's getting married tomorrow! So there's gonna be a wedding dinner tomorrow.

Leaving this Saturday. PLEASE PRAY FOR US! Thanks. Haha.

BORED. NOTHING TO BLOG ABOUT.

This afternoon was funny. XDDD

2008-11-04T23:11:00.002+08:00

I can't sleep. It's been long since I've felt like this.
Familiar feeling.
I love it, I hate it.

I just feel so.. so sad, so down, so depressed. I feel lost again.

Sleepless nights.

This year has definitely burned me down.
Gave me countless scars on my heart.
Given me a lot to think about.

I wanna run away.
Dump my life start another one.

Break free from my responsibilities.
Fly away from those irritating people.

Quarelling with my dad, fighting with a young girl. And having another one break my heart. A bad christmas last year. Screwed up holidays this year. Bad grades. Having no one understand you because they don't and also because you don't want them to. Making enemies, making friends. Choosing sides. Head and heart at war everyday. I just wanna scream.

I've had enough of this life.
Enough.

2008-11-04T20:48:00.002+08:00

The Race
by D. H. Groberg

Whenever I start to hang my head in front of failure’s face,
my downward fall is broken by the memory of a race.

A children’s race, young boys, young men; how I remember well,
excitement sure, but also fear, it wasn’t hard to tell.

They all lined up so full of hope, each thought to win that race
or tie for first, or if not that, at least take second place.

Their parents watched from off the side, each cheering for their son,
and each boy hoped to show his folks that he would be the one.

The whistle blew and off they flew, like chariots of fire,
to win, to be the hero there, was each young boy’s desire.

One boy in particular, whose dad was in the crowd,
was running in the lead and thought “My dad will be so proud.”

But as he speeded down the field and crossed a shallow dip,
the little boy who thought he’d win, lost his step and slipped.

Trying hard to catch himself, his arms flew everyplace,
and midst the laughter of the crowd he fell flat on his face.

As he fell, his hope fell too; he couldn’t win it now.
Humiliated, he just wished to disappear somehow.

But as he fell his dad stood up and showed his anxious face,
which to the boy so clearly said, “Get up and win that race!”

He quickly rose, no damage done, behind a bit that’s all,
and ran with all his mind and might to make up for his fall.

So anxious to restore himself, to catch up and to win,
his mind went faster than his legs. He slipped and fell again.

He wished that he had quit before with only one disgrace.
“I’m hopeless as a runner now, I shouldn’t try to race.”

But through the laughing crowd he searched and found his father’s face
with a steady look that said again, “Get up and win that race!”

So he jumped up to try again, ten yards behind the last.
“If I’m to gain those yards,” he thought, “I’ve got to run real fast!”

Exceeding everything he had, he regained eight, then ten...
but trying hard to catch the lead, he slipped and fell again.

Defeat! He lay there silently. A tear dropped from his eye.
“There’s no sense running anymore! Three strikes I’m out! Why try?

I’ve lost, so what’s the use?” he thought. “I’ll live with my disgrace.”
But then he thought about his dad, who soon he’d have to face.

“Get up,” an echo sounded low, “you haven’t lost at all,
for all you have to do to win is rise each time you fall.

Get up!” the echo urged him on, “Get up and take your place!
You were not meant for failure here! Get up and win that race!”

So, up he rose to run once more, refusing to forfeit,
and he resolved that win or lose, at least he wouldn’t quit.

So far behind the others now, the most he’d ever been,
still he gave it all he had and ran like he could win.

Three times he’d fallen stumbling, three times he rose again.
Too far behind to hope to win, he still ran to the end.

They cheered another boy who crossed the line and won first place,
head high and proud and happy -- no falling, no disgrace.

But, when the fallen youngster crossed the line, in last place,
the crowd gave him a greater cheer for finishing the race.

And even though he came in last with head bowed low, unproud,
you would have thought he’d won the race, to listen to the crowd.

And to his dad he sadly said, “I didn’t do so well.”
“To me, you won,” his father said. “You rose each time you fell.”

And now when things seem dark and bleak and difficult to face,
the memory of that little boy helps me in my own race.

For all of life is like that race, with ups and downs and all.
And all you have to do to win is rise each time you fall.

And when depression and despair shout loudly in my face,
another voice within me says, “Get up and win that race!”

How much I wish for this to be true.

2008-11-01T23:00:00.003+08:00

POKER IS FUN!

Haha. I won altogether a total of 819! Not beginner's luck okay, I'm just too pro! HAHA! But that was the last round. Too bored le. Oh fine. It's fun, but it's not that fun lah. Haha.

We went to macs for dinner. We ordered takeaways, and Derek thought that lemuel took his nuggets, so we just walked back to church. Lemuel then told him that the nuggets were Clement's and that he forgot to take his own meal. Haha. So he walked all the way back to macs. Luckily he didn't have to pay extra. Haha.

I'm bored now. Shall sleep soon I guess. Haha.

AND AND! MUST GO FOR LUNCH WITH ME TOMORROW! MUST MUST MUST! YOU BETTER HUH. Haha.

Kay, I'm gonna go sleep now. Haha. Post another time. Bye!!

That was quite a big bump. Honestly, I felt lost, confused and just depressed yesterday. Like my whole world came crashing down.

At least it's all better now. At least it is.

2008-11-01T08:40:00.005+08:00

I found the phone
I must've missed your message
You got it wrong, It wasn't what your friend said
Tell by your tone, I've taken it too far again.
(Just when I thought I'd gone and fixed it all again.)

Your friends are telling you, You gotta move on.
(Just when I thought I'd gone and wrecked it all again)
You turned around so I could tell you what took so long
I don't know why i ever waited to say
Cuz I'm just dying just to see you again

Instead of holding you, I was holding out
I should've let you in, but I let you down
You were the first to give I was the first to ask
Now I'm in second place, to get a second chance

I should've known, took you and I for granted
Gotta let you know, I was never underhanded
Tell by your tone, I've taken it too far again
(Just when I thought I'd gone and fixed it all again)

My friends are telling me they saw you with someone
(Just when I thought I'd gone and wrecked it all again)
You turned around so I could tell you what took so long
I don't know why I ever waited to say
Cuz I'm just dying just to see you again

Instead of holding you, I was holding out
I should've let you in, but I let you down
You were the first to give, I was the first to ask
Now I'm in second place, to get a second chance
My last mistake, putting my friends first
I tried to laugh it off but I made things worse
You were the first to give, I was the first to ask
Now I'm in second place, to get a second chance

What you give is always what you get
There's so much I haven't given yet
If you could give another second chance
(Just when I thought I'd gone and fixed it all again)

My friends are telling me they saw you with someone
(Just when I thought I'd gone and wrecked it all again)
You turned around so I could tell you what took so long
I don't know why I ever waited to say
Cuz I'm just dying just to see you

Instead of holding you, I was holding out
I should've let you in, but I let you down
You were the first to give, I was the first to ask
Now I'm in second place, to get a second chance
My last mistake, putting my friends first
I tried to laugh it off but I made things worse
You were the first to give I was the first to ask
Now I'm in second place to get a second chance.
Instead of holding you, I was holding out
I should've let you in, but I let you down
You were the first to give, I was the first to ask
Now I'm in second place, to get a second chance

music or the misery

2008-10-31T22:50:00.002+08:00

2008.

Year of new beginnings, I heard someone say that.

And I went to think about it.

I realized, that yes, it is the year of new beginnings.

But one of sorrow and misery for me.

2008-10-26T21:18:00.003+08:00

Yes. I don't own you. But can you at least tell me before you just suddenly disappear and throw your phone away? It makes me worry, and I don't usually worry about many things, so I don't like to. Please. At least give a tell me first. Sigh.

2008-10-24T22:42:00.004+08:00

THE INTP - WIZARD, ARCHITECT, ENGINEER, SCIENTIST, THE CRAZY REBEL

INTPs exhibit the greatest precision in thought and language of all the types; they tend to see distinctions and inconsistencies in thought and language instantaneously. The one word which captures the unique style of INTPs is architect-the architect of ideas and systems as well as the architect of edifices. This type is found in only 1 percent of the population and therefore is not encountered as frequently as some of the other types.

In taking exams, they prefer theorectical questions. When INTPs view a test, teachers, or subjects as irrelevant, they may respond as follows: 'I know what I need to know about this topic; I may even know more than my teacher. The teacher made this test, and this test is dumb. Therefore, my teacher is dumb, and I will not do the test.' Because of such reactions, the INTP's academic record may include successes or may be filled with failures.

INTPs tend to either respect and go along with society's rules, or to question and rebel against them. Their response to these rules depends on how the rules might affect them. When INTPs do not like the rules, they are quick to find the flaws in the rule makers' thinking, regardless of their status, position in the hierarchy, or renown.

INTPs detect contradictions in statements no matter how distant in space or time the contradictory statements were produced. The intellectual scanning of INTPs has a principled quality; that is, INTPs search for whatever is relevant and pertinent to the issue at hand. Consequently, INTPs can concentrate better than any other type.

INTPs prize intelligence in themselves and in others, but can become intellectual dilettantes as a result of their need to amass ideas, principles, or understanding of behavior. And once they know something, it is remembered. INTPs can become obsessed with analysis. Once caught up in a thought process, that thought process seems to have a will of its own for INTPs, and they persevere until the issue is comprehended in all its complexity. They can be intellectual snobs and may show impatience at times with others less endowed intellectually. This quality, INTPs find, generates hostility and defensive behavior on the part of others, who may describe an INTP as arrogant.

For INTPs, the world exists primarily to be understood. Reality is trivial, a mere arena for proving ideas. It is essential that the universe is understood and that whatever is stated about the universe is stated correctly, with coherence and without redundancy. This is the INTPs final purpose. It matters not whether others understand or accept his or her truths.

As a parent, the INTP is devoted; they enjoy children, and are serious about their upbringing. The home of an INTP parent is usually calm, low-key in discipline, but well run and ordered.

Precise about their descriptions, INTPs will often correct others (or be sorely tempted to) if the shade of meaning is a bit off. While annoying to the less concise, this fine discrimination ability gives INTPs so inclined a natural advantage as, for example, grammarians and linguists.

INTPs are relatively easy-going and amenable to almost anything until their principles are violated, about which they may become outspoken and inflexible. They prefer to return, however, to a reserved albeit benign ambiance, not wishing to make spectacles of themselves.

Introverted Thinking

Introverted Thinking strives to extract the essence of the Idea from various externals that express it. In the extreme, this conceptual essence wants no form or substance to verify its reality. Knowing the Truth is enough for INTPs; the knowledge that this truth can (or could) be demonstrated is sufficient to satisfy the knower. "Cogito, ergo sum" expresses this prime directive quite succinctly.
In seasons of low energy level, or moments of single-minded concentration, the INTP is aloof and detached in a way that might even offend more relational or extraverted individuals.

Extraverted iNtuition

Intuition softens and socializes Thinking, fleshing out the brittle bones of truths formed in the dominant inner world. That which is is not negotiable; yet actual application diffuses knowledge to the extent that knowledge needs qualification and context to be of any consequence in this foreign world of substance.

If Thinking can desist, the INTP is free to brainstorm, calling up the perceptions of the unconscious (i.e., intuition) which are mirrored in patterns in the realm of matter, time and space. These perceptions, in the form of theories or hunches, must ultimately defer to the inner principles, or at least they must not negate them.

Intuition unchained gives birth to play. INTPs enjoy games, formal or impromptu, which coax analogies, patterns and theories from the unseen into spontaneous expression in a way that defies their own comprehension.

Introverted Sensing

Sensing is of a subjective, inner nature similar to that of the SJs. It supplies awareness of the forms of senses rather than the raw, analogic stimuli. Facts and figures seek to be cleaned up for comparison with an ever growing range of previously experienced input. Sensing assists intuition in sorting out and arranging information into the building blocks for Thinking's elaborate systems.
The internalizing nature of the INTP's Sensing function leaves a relative absence of environmental awareness (i.e., Extraverted Sensing), except when the environment is the current focus. Consciousness of such conditions is at best a sometime thing.

Extraverted Feeling

Feeling tends to be all or none. When present, the INTP's concern for others is intense, albeit naive. In a crisis, this feeling judgement is often silenced by the emergence of Thinking, who rushes in to avert chaos and destruction. In the absence of a clear principle, however, INTPs have been known to defer judgement and to allow decisions about interpersonal matters to be left hanging lest someone be offended or somehow injured. INTPs are at risk of being swept away by the shadow in the form of their own strong emotional impulses.

ME.

2008-10-22T22:24:00.003+08:00

THE USED! MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE! FABER DRIVE! YAY! MORE MUSIC!

Just got back from the E.T. meeeting. I hope I can go.
I HAVE TO RETAKE MY EXAMS YOU KNOW. SIAN.
Oh wells. I hope they don't clash.

I'm bored. There's school tomorrow. And curriculum is extended for another 2 weeks. So dumb. I wish I'd have work harder before. Well it's too late for regrets. Just have to work hard.

The people I've been close to before seem so distant now. I think it's me. Bleh. But I don't wanna do anything about it. People change I guess? I definitely have. A lot.

This mission trip's gonna be interesting. At least I won't care much about who's going or about the fun I'm gonna have there. I just wanna serve God, and not go to E.T. for the fun of it. I think I better get my iPod classic soon, or I'll just die there with no one to talk to. Not about not fitting in, it's about me not wanting to fit in. I don't really see the point in doing what they do, cuz it seems pretty much retarded to me, honestly. I just don't want to. Different thinkings, perspectives, yea. Let the extraverts gather together. I can be a real introvert there. Hallelujah. Haha. It's gonna be interesting. Very.

Okay! I've done posting. Yay! Shall post another time. Bye!

2008-10-20T17:35:00.003+08:00

I saw you yesterday! Haha.

Life's been boring. VERY. Very very very very very boring.

Someone please plan something. Some outing or something. Haha.

Sometimes you just feel like telling someone how much you love them but there's just something stopping you from doing so. It's irritating. Very.

2008-10-18T12:29:00.004+08:00

Yep. It will never be the same. Haha. I don't feel like going back to the past right now anyways.

Meeting later. Hmm. I hope this trip's gonna be fun. Haha.

I WANNA WATCH A MOVIE. SOMEONE PLEASE ACCOMPANY ME.

HAHA.

2008-10-15T22:43:00.002+08:00

Today was. BORING.

CUZ someone just doesn't wanna talk to me. So dumb. Bleh.

Went to Gordon's house after school. Hmm. Played this game called 'Crysis' or 'Crisis'. Quite interesting. Something like the game 'Fear'.

AND OH OH. I'm not going to school tomorrow! YAY!

I guess I'm contented with my results but I'm not really happy. I could've gotten more. Well whatever. At least I passed all my subs, EXCEPT FOR CHINESE. Bleh. Haha. Expected. And to all those out there who didn't do really well this term, don't let it bring you down, but instead just work harder next year! And to all those who did very well, good for you then. HAHA.

I'm alittle tired. But I don't feel like sleeping yet. Oh, Paramore's live album was a let down. The quality, and her singing just wasn't very pleasant to my ears. Sadly. SOMEONE INTRODUCE TO ME A NICE BAND WITH NICE SONGS PLEASE! ALTERNATIVE!! PLEASE! I got bored listening to the same songs in my iTunes. All the songs just keep looping and looping. Bleh. Bored of 'em.

And today I wanted to talk to you but I guess I'm not supposed to. Sad. I miss you. I don't care if you don't but I do.

2008-10-14T20:05:00.003+08:00

Well yesterday was nice.

Went some army camp yesterday. Was quite interesting. Shot some blank rounds, played some games. Haha. It was fun.

AND. We were supposed to watch a movie today but SOMEONE changed the plans. Bleh.

Finished ALL the Avatar episodes today. Haha. It's quite a nice show I guess.

AND RIGHT NOW. I'm sooooo bored. Bleh. It's been long since I've played Dota or CS so my skills really deproved. I'm lazy to go play too. Haha.

And someone has CCA for the rest of the week. That's SO stupid. Bleh. Means I'll be bored to death.

So stuffy and warm in the room. Bleh. My mom doesn't want the air-conditioner on. Which kinda stinks.

I HAVE NOTHING TO BLOG ABOUT. LIFE'S SO BORING. SOMEONE GO OUT WITH ME AND DO SOMETHING.

OH. I'm going to East Timor I think. I hope I can. Haha. I'm looking forward to the trip, even though the people I'm going with might bring me some trouble. Bleh. Who cares. I'm doing it for God, not for them. Hah. Please pray for us a'ight? Haha.

I'm soooooo bored. Someone give me something to do instead of blogging. Haha. Bleh you.

I bet you miss me luh. XP

2008-10-12T18:18:00.001+08:00

I saw you!! XD

2008-10-11T22:01:00.004+08:00

Cheer up luhh you. XP

Tiring. These two days were just tiring. Haha. But they were fun I guess.

Don't think I'm gonna do a long post cuz I got to go soon.

Hmm. I've been watching avatar and jamming alot lately. Oh. Tenth Avenue North is a very very nice christian band. Go check out their song titled, Love is here.

Haha. And I know of this great book called the bible. A very very good book. Should go get one if you don't have one. Haha. I can help you get discounts. Hehe.

Got to go now. Goodnight people!

2008-10-02T18:52:00.004+08:00

Life.

Yep. We will never have things always our way.

And it's sad to see souls lost to the devil as each day passes by.

And it's also sad to see that there are so many christians who don't really do anything about it, including myself.

I feel hopeless.

I need hope.

Someone just show it to me.

Stop emo-ing silly. I'll be much happier if you do. And stop thinking so much. And I wonder what'd I'd do too if you'd just stop talking to me one day. But when the day comes I'll know, so just stop thinking about the future and live life to the fullest. Silly girl. Haha...

2008-09-28T20:58:00.000+08:00

Oh oh.

ALTERNATIVE MUSIC IS GOOD!!

GOODNIGHT!

2008-09-28T17:05:00.002+08:00

Okay! I'm sorry about not informing ya'll about me not posting for very long, so here's the reason, EXAMS. Haha. Well I've decided to try my best not to touch the computer until the exams are over so I've pretty much been studying and doing nothing else apart from studying. But I do play a bit of PSP every now and then, but the problem is that I can't now because Lemuel has my UMD so I'm gonna be very bored until the exams are over.

Anyways, life's been very boring, but I kind of feel contented at this slow and peaceful pace. Like, yes I'm worried about the exams but I feel as if I'm gonna do well so I'm not actually very crazy about diving myself into revision and homework. Yea. I think I've posted something about this before. About just watching life pass by with no worries or fears. Yea. Haha.

Just came back from some lunch where all the ELMM people were supposed to attend. It was interesting I guess. Played some interesting games like 'Don't forget the lyrics' and some other game where we had to guess the song title by listening to the intro. Well I got picked and the song I was supposed to guess was 'Lord of Lords'. I didn't catch it at all. Haha. Then Jireh was like making "LOL" with his hands. Haha. It was interesting, but it was a little dry and boring I guess.

I miss the feel of the keyboard. Like totally. Haha. It feels great to type again. Very nice feeling. Haha.

I really wonder why we quarrel on almost every friday. I really wonder why.

Anyways I'm gonna relax for awhile and play some Dota. Will post after the exams. All the best to everyone out there for their upcoming exams! God bless. Cya!

2008-09-10T20:29:00.003+08:00

I'm becoming more T and J. Tsk. INFP to INTJ. Weird.

Anyways, got back my report book today. Didn't do quite well. I'm not really happy with it either. Guess I've to chiong this final year. God help me.

I think I'm changing again. I don't like it. I keep changing. Tsk. It's kind of stressing me out. To know that I'm changing just makes me stressed. Bleh. Keep changing.

Quite tired now. Don't know why. Haha. Shall go sleep early today. I hope I do.

Now I shall come up with a time table of what to study at what time and which day and also start to learn how to save my money. Tsk. I don't know how to. And that's bad. Haha.

Looking forward to youth camp at the end of the year. Hope it'll be good. I think it will. Haha.

EOYs. Bleh. This year just flew by just like that. Tsk. Didn't spend my time wisely. What would next year bring... Hmm.. Let's just hope it isn't as crappy. Sigh. I hope that this Christmas wouldn't be as bad as the previous 2. I pray it'd be one of the best Christmases I've ever had. Bleh. I'm still a kid.

But kids won't stay kids forever, will they?

2008-09-10T19:10:00.003+08:00

I'm hungry. Dinner's downstairs but I'm lazy to walk down. Haha. Shall blog first I guess. Well, I have to or else someone ain't gonna talk to me anymore. Sad huh? Haha. But I bet you that person can't bear to not talk to me for a week or 2. Haha. xD

School today was alright. Tuition ended quickly. Haha. Slacked around at JK's house for awhile and played a game called Resistance. Quite interesting? But a little boring. 3/5 I guess. I think Army of Two owns it hands down.

And Spore's quite an interesting game. Haha. Worth buying I guess. It depends. I like it cuz you can customize your units, and buildings. Quite interesting. Playing around with the creature creator is already very fun. Haha.

I should go eat now luh. I'm a little hungry. Fine. I'm starving damnit. Haha. Shall go eat. xD Cya!

2008-09-04T22:08:00.003+08:00

In the moonlight
Your face it glows
Like a thousand diamonds
I suppose
And your hair flows like
The ocean breeze

Not a million fights
Could make me hate you
You’re invincible
Yeah, It’s true
It’s in your eyes
Where I find peace

Is it broken?
Can we work it out?
Let’s light up the town, scream out loud
Is it broken?
Can we work it out?
I can see in your eyes
You’re ready to break
Don’t look away

So here we are now
In a place where
The sun blended
With the ocean thin
So thin, we stand
Across from each other
Together we’ll wonder
If we will last these days
If I asked you to stay
Would you tell me
You would be mine?

And time
Is all I ask for
Time, I just need one more day
And time, You’ve been crying too long time
And your tears wrote this song
Stay

2008-09-04T16:43:00.003+08:00

I just can't take how some people treat a simple game of DOTA as a game of losing and gaining face. And after being owned they leave. Loud words. F here F there, CCB here CCB there. Tsk. When the hell did DOTA become a place for learning colorful words like these? Seriously, if you wanna go curse and all that and spoil everyone's mood in the game, freaking don't play the game. It's just a damn game. And all that nonsense about losing face and all that, DOES LOSING A SIMPLE GAME MAKE YOU A COMPLETE FREAKING LOSER?! NO RIGHT. Seriously, childish behaviour all comes out. Pushing the blame and all that. Pointing the fingers and all that. Tsk. You kids should just go back to watching Barney or playing Sesame Street games with little Elmo teaching you how to freaking count. Tsk.

And I've had it with people callin each other NOOB. What the crap is wrong with being one? You mean you start out a pro? NO RIGHT. If you think that DOTA is a game for pros, think again. If there are NO pros to begin with, WHO THE HECK IS GONNA PLAY? And PLAYING the game over and over again MAKES YOU A PRO am I right? SO WHAT'S WRONG IF ONE OR TWO PEOPLE JUST START PLAYING AND SUCK? Freaking don't call them NOOBS luh. Not as if your the best in the world. If you are then GOOD FOR YOU but you don't have to go and screw others around as if you owned them or as if your their moms. Seriously. Stop it.

2008-09-04T13:22:00.003+08:00

Music.
It's kind of like, everything to me.
I mean, apart from God and some other stuff.
Yea. Whenever your feeling down, and even if your friends can't cheer you up, there's always music.
And it always works.

But sometimes it just makes you sad.
It makes you think.
It invokes emotions.
It makes you hope.
It makes you wish.
It reminds you about the past.
It reminds you about what you've been before.
It tells you of what you should be in the future.

Music.
A million faces.
A million emotions.
Hey, no one can escape it.
Everywhere we go, there's music.
Even if you can't hear it.
We just need to open our ears.
And listen.
Listen.

Without music, life would be something I don't even want to imagine.

Even a pessimist like me, can be touched easily by a song or too.
Music is a gift.
From God.
For our ears to listen and to appreciate.

It's the thing that connects people together.
Many people.
Who cares about race or religion.
Music brings everything together.

It's the best way for some to express their emotions.
It's the best way for some to hide theirs.
It's the best way to relax.
And it's the best way to go crazy.

But if a world without music can drive me crazy, what would a world without God's love be?
Total hell.

Then again, music still is everything.
I'd rather I lose my eyesight than to lose my hearing if I was ever asked to only keep one.
Hey, people can see with sound.

Music.
Music.
Music.

I'm always in my own world.
The consequences that have hit me after each and every action.
Be it my own or others
Have driven me to my own, imaginary world.
And I don't think I'll be coming out soon.
I can't live with reality.
But someone please wake me up.
Please.
Wake me up.